Q: Dear Scott – I am currently “seeing” my ex-boyfriend (my first and only serious boyfriend).
I don’t really understand what we are. We had the talk and he said he is not ready to have a “girlfriend” yet. But he says “I love you” quite frequently and he still calls me pet names.
We had a very rough break-up and it led to minor depression for me. But I loved him too much to kick him out of my life, and now I have let him back in. I don’t know what to do or say. Should I just leave and make him realize he can’t keep getting the milk for free, he needs to buy the cow?
SCOTT: I’d like to see you cut your losses and break it off but I don’t think you’re strong enough for that yet, so don’t. Focus on friendship for now and see where it goes. But be realistic – if you don’t know where the relationship is at then it probably isn’t anywhere. Get it?
He’s keeping you on a string while he figures things out but unless something changes, you’ll probably part ways again later. He was your first and only love and there will be others in the future, but not as long as you’re waiting around for this one to decide what he wants.
Breaking up is always painful but sometimes necessary in order to grow and move forward in life.