Q: Dear Scott – I find that men are eager to chase me but when I reciprocate, they tend to disappear after a few weeks. I try not to play games with men and always return phone calls. My friends think I should play “harder to get” and otherwise test these men. That kind of behavior has never been part of my repertoire. I just need to find a man who’s not all caught up in the chase.
Any suggestions?
SCOTT: Finding men not caught up in the chase is easy. Yeah, right! Here on Earth, 95% are all about the chase. Why? Because for men it’s a huge part of finding a mate. Not all men are this way, but most are. A man chases a woman until she catches him. There’s a lot of truth to that. Let’s sort this out: it’s great that you’re mature enough to be open to getting to know someone without playing “the game” but that alone isn’t going to get you play.
When a man “disappears” it means they’re no longer interested. Your part in this might be that you’re pursuing them too much, eliminating the challenge of them pursuing you. Get it? You’re friends are right. I’m not saying don’t return calls but don’t return them the same day. Of course be your fabulous self but try not to appear overly anxious. It’s a complete buzz kill.
The truth is you’ll net more guys if you play a bit harder to get, don’t volunteer yourself too much at first and be a little bit vague with the information you give. Hold back a little more and you’ll see the difference.