Dear Amy: My husband’s family will be visiting and staying in our home for two weeks.
He’s looking forward to it even less than I am, and that’s saying something.
The problem is that these people can talk about nothing except their houses. If the topic isn’t decorating, it’s home improvements.
If it’s not home improvements, it’s the open houses they went to as “Lookie Lous.” Or if not that, then it’s shopping for decorating things for their houses.
Of course, they don’t approve of my house and have many suggestions about how we can improve it.
My husband and I are active in our community and enjoy theater, music and museums – all of which are considered by his family to be pretentious, boring topics of conversation.
My husband thinks we should handle this annual visit by bringing out the paint and putting them to work.
What do you think?
– Already Yawning
Dear Yawning: You know how one year of a person’s life equals seven years in dog time? Well, in “in-law time,” two weeks is forever.
Your husband is in the “if you can’t beat them, join them” camp, and if there are any home-improvement projects that need doing, then by all means give your guests the option of going to work.
In the DIY spirit of the thing, you can let them take you to their favorite home-improvement store, make suggestions about materials and help you with the work.
This scheme has about a million ways it could go wrong, but if you chose a project in which you are flexible about the outcome, then you’ll protect yourself from too much damage (to the psyche and otherwise).
Keep your sense of humor and choose a project that is very safe for everyone. No dangling off of ladders, please! These people sound fairly dreadful, so keeping them busy is going to make their visit go by faster. I have a theory that people are boring because they are bored. Whether or not you go the DIY route, plan outings to parks, historic homes, etc., as a way to keep them occupied.
…
Dear Amy: My boyfriend of five months has a great many female friends. He calls several of them on his cellphone each day at least once. They call him and even stop by his house as well. They also e-mail each other.
I have met several of these women at parties. They are all attractive, slim and younger.
I am 50. He is 55. He is an extreme extrovert and begins conversations with women everywhere we go. They all seem to like him because he is friendly and fun.
He says he loves me, and I know he isn’t cheating on me physically with them, but I feel cheated on emotionally and fear the future.
Am I wrong to want him to myself or to want him to have mostly male friends? Am I being immature? Is this normal? I’m a one-man woman, and I want a one-woman man.
– Wondering
Dear Wondering: The fact that this guy has you so off-kilter that you are wondering if, at age 50, you are being immature makes me think that you need to step back from this relationship, smack yourself on the forehead, then move along.
It doesn’t matter if it is “normal” for a man to be surrounded by women.
Remember the old advertising slogan, “Normal is what’s normal for you”? You get to decide what you like in a guy. You get to decide what you want in a relationship.
If you don’t like this guy’s friends or his behavior around women, then that’s a lot not to like.
If you’re looking for a guy who only has eyes for you, then you really should keep looking.
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