Dear Amy: I am in a serious relationship. My guy and I have been together for about a month, and it’s awesome. We neither fight nor have any communication issues.
I dare to say that I’m falling in love, as I have never felt such peace with anyone else.
However, I have one problem – the parental unit. My father refuses to let me date, period. He seems to think that as a senior in college I’m far too busy to be involved in this relationship.
My mother dislikes my boyfriend. She does not consider him dashing enough for me, and she doesn’t have a high regard for his occupation (he’s a pilot). She also does not approve of the fact that he is a first-generation American.
It is difficult working between what my parents want and my desire to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend.
Ultimately, I would love my parents’ blessing – especially in a matter of such importance.
What should I do? – Rather Distraught
Dear Distraught: Your parents aren’t dating this person – you are. On the other hand, you don’t seem to be actually “dating.” When you declare that you want to spend the rest of your life with a guy you’ve been with for a month, you’ve left “dating” behind and moved on to “I now declare you husband and wife.” Your folks might be freaking out because you’re freaking out.
Presumably, as a senior in college you are well on your way to becoming an adult. Now it’s time to act like one.
Adults set personal goals and then strive to meet them. Your first goal should be to succeed in college. If you are succeeding in college, then your father shouldn’t have any complaints about your personal life because your personal life will supplement – not supplant – your other goals.
I suspect that your folks would be more relaxed if you slowed w-a-a-a-a-y down.
…
Dear Amy: My 11-year-old cousin is an amateur musician, but his “music” consists of pounding on the piano keys as loudly as possible for hours at a time. (He’s not disabled or autistic; he’s just an average kid.) His piano playing becomes a problem when he and his family attend holiday gatherings at my parents’ home.
His parents seem to think that his musical antics indicate that he has “talent,” so they take no action to limit it, even when visiting other people’s homes. In fact, they often sit in the piano room and listen adoringly.
We have tactfully suggested that he begin music lessons to improve his skills, but his parents think that it will “stifle his creativity” and cause him to “lose interest in his art.” With Thanksgiving fast approaching, my mom and I have gone back and forth as to the appropriate way to deal with this, but we are at a loss.
– The Piano Police
Dear Police: The best holiday hosts run their events with a combination of indulgence and structure. If the kids are playing football on the lawn, video games in the den or piano in the piano room, then at some point the host says, “OK, everybody – it’s time to come in and help set the table for dinner!” And if the kids get grouchy and the parents get insulted, well, then that’s just too bad.
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