“Horses!” says my oldest daughter, throwing out another idea for a themed Christmas tree. “We could do cowboy boots, Stetson hats, toy horses, pictures of me on a horse, and horse shoes.”
“And road apples,” says the youngest pinching her nose. “I want a Disney tree, with Mickey, Daisy, Pooh …”
“… and you starring as Dopey,” her older sister adds.
“How about California,” I say, which is where we’re all from. “We could do little surfboards, sunglasses, miniature palm trees and plastic surgeons in plastic Mercedes.”
They look at me as if my head is an ornament. When you live in Colorado, or most places, it’s best you don’t admit you’re from California.
“How about a wine tree?” my husband says. “I could drink to that.”
“Sure,” I say. “We could do bunches of grapes and vines, clever wine-bottle stoppers, fun corkscrews, decoupage wine labels…”
“And lots of little aspirin bottles,” he adds.
Possible tree themes are flying like reindeer, and it’s my fault. Now that we have a finished basement, I promised the kids we could have a second, more fun tree, to offset the one they call “Mom’s OCD Tree.” I admit I can be a little obsessive and compulsive about my tree. With a themed tree, we can let loose. A little.
Like all my good ideas, I stole the theme tree concept. Years ago, I discovered the tree festival and fundraiser for Torrance Memorial Medical Center, in Torrance, Calif. The 23rd annual festival took place last week and featured dozens of trees decorated by people who drink high-ethyl octane and take LSD. (Seriously, one tree was pruned into an upside-down airplane.) Tree volunteers auction off the prettified pines for between $1,500 and $10,000. So, hoping for inspiration, I asked Carolyn Snyder, the tree design guru at the helm of this successful fundraiser, what she conjured up this year.
They had a “Gone With the Wind” tree covered with Scarlett and Rhett memorabilia; a Santa tree, where the top of the tree was his head, and the rest of the tree wore 10 yards of red velvet and 30 yards of white fur; a Star-Spangled Banner tree (all red, white and blue) to honor our soldiers; a champagne and chocolate tree, which they can deliver straight to me, intravenously; and a Feliz Navidude tree featuring surfing Santas and a large surfboard cresting out of the top.
I channel all this inspiration back to my family.
“How about a money tree?” my husband says. “I would like that.”
“How about a candy tree,” says the youngest, “with sugargum fairies?”
“It’s sugarplum fairies, you retard,” the oldest corrects. “And forget it. But I could go for a tree that’s all about me.”
No one is surprised.
Marni Jameson is a nationally syndicated columnist who lives in the Denver area. You may contact her through marnijameson.com.
For the perfect Christmas tree
To find and create your inner tree, themed-tree guru Carolyn Snyder suggests:
Picking a theme that reflects your passions like cooking, fishing, Beanie Babies or the Broncos. Pair that with a predominant color scheme. For instance, to create a music tree, you could limit yourself to black and white ornaments that relate to music. Deep inside the tree, hang many shiny red balls to create a backdrop. Add bows made from ribbons imprinted with musical notes, then find a tree skirt in black and white, or red.
Repetition is key. Carry the theme through often. Everything on your tree should relate to the color or the theme, preferably both.
Consider a large centerpiece element like a 3-foot jester, an antique Santa or a group of carolers that nest front and center in the tree. (This is where artificial trees come in handy, because branches bend.) Snyder recalls one tree that had a large nativity scene in the center; the rest of the tree dazzled with hundreds of silver and crystal stars.
Make the top dazzle. Everyone looks there first so think grand finale at the end of a fireworks show. One idea: Take duplicates of all the key ornaments on your tree and reprise them at the top by tying them together to create a big bow with charms. (Or, use a glue gun.)
Don’t skimp. For a 6-foot tree you need a minimum of 300 lights and 100-150 ornaments; for an 8-foot tree you need 600-700 lights, and 300-450 decorations, almost double because the base is much wider.
