Dear Amy: I have a good friend who is 55. During the summer, she began wearing sunglasses on top of her head, kind of like a headband.
She announced that it makes her look younger.
The problem is that six months later, she is still wearing her sunglasses on her head – at the office, at night, in the rain, to a funeral, even to a “black tie” fundraiser we both attended last week! At the fundraiser, I overheard several women laughing behind her back.
Should I say anything to my friend and, if so, how? Or should I just enjoy her company – sunglasses and all – and let her work through her “fashion” phase?
– Trying to Be Loyal
Dear Loyal: Fortunately, good friends outlast fashion. People who laugh behind someone’s back about how she chooses to wear her hair are the ones with the fashion problem, if you ask me.
If your friend pirouettes in front of you, asking, “Honestly, what do you think of my Foster Grants in February?” then you may answer her by saying, “Well, Jenny – I honestly preferred your look before the sunglasses phase.” Otherwise, let it lie.
…
Dear Amy: Before leaving to attend a Bears game, I asked my wife if I could eat some leftovers or if she wanted them. She said she wanted them, so I grabbed something else to eat on the way.
After the game, I stopped at the supermarket to pick up some items on our list, and while there I called her to ask if there was anything else she would like for me to pick up. She said no. Then as I approached the checkout I saw some prepared meatloaf, an item I enjoy but we never have at home because my wife doesn’t like it. I picked one up for myself.
As soon as I got home, I sat down to eat the meatloaf, and I was accused by my wife of being inconsiderate for not asking her if she wanted me to pick up something “to go” at the store for her too. She also chided me for eating alone in front of her.
– Considerate or Not
Dear Considerate Or Not: When you came home from what was no doubt a very long afternoon away, you saw to your own takeout needs without seeing to hers.
It is inconsiderate to chow down in front of someone, and furthermore, I think that you know it. It’s time to punt.
…
Dear Amy: I’m responding to “Pragmatic Mom,” who wrote to you about not believing in Santa Claus.
Maybe she never read the beautiful column written in 1897 by Francis P. Church to a little girl who asked whether there was a Santa Claus. He said (I’m paraphrasing), “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.” You’re right, Amy; even adults can, and should, believe in magic.
– A Proud Believer
Dear Believer: Thank you so much for quoting from this much-loved message.
“… And to all, a good night.”
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