Grab a throw pillow, dim the mood lighting on your sculptural, museum- quality hand-blown whatever, and head to the chic but comfortable, stylish but livable, bold but client-approved great room.
A 10-episode splurge on interior design is reality TV’s latest offering, relying on clashing personalities as much as peculiar paint colors and pricey knickknacks.
The patterns, textures, settees, lamps and end tables are arrayed by would-be stars under the studied eye of host Todd Oldham, fashion designer and walking brand name, he of the Target dorm room furniture and accessory lines.
“Top Design” premieres at 9 p.m. Wednesday on Bravo (following the season finale of “Top Chef”). We’re talking design on deadline, starting from white walls and empty floor, with a budget most people only dream about.
Oldham does most of his hosting chores in voice-over narration, looking uncomfortable when he has to speak on camera for longer than a sentence.
The contestants won’t win awards for their wardrobes, but then, they’ve got to get dirtier here than in a fashion design studio.
The goal is to find designers who live up to the challenge of being more than mere decorators, who can dream up distinctive living spaces with a certain style directive intended to suit a client they’ve never met.
On the first episode, the directive is “inner sanctum.” In teams of two, they must create a relaxing space for an unseen client who is identified only as a mystery “celebrity” – the term is used loosely.
The results, shown in fast-forward metamorphoses, range from drab to inspired.
With a maximum budget of $50,000 for fabric, furniture and accessories, another $1,250 for paint and lumber, and a two-hour time limit, the contestants produce sometimes stunningly creative works. Sometimes they scramble madly to concoct unlivable messes.
In résumés, they describe their design styles with a number of pretentious labels, including “art-centric expressionism,” which apparently translates to “you can’t find this at Target.” If these are “the country’s hottest new interior designers, artists and architects,” as the network says, we may be in serious trouble.
The 12 competitors will be slowly voted off the island that is the Pacific Design Center for failing to measure up.
“See ya later, decorators,” lead judge Jonathan Adler says at the end of the first
installment.
After while, crocodiles.
Adler, a big name in the modernist home design world, is joined by Margaret Russell, editor-in-chief of ELLE Décor magazine (which will provide exposure for the winning designer), and Kelly Wearstler, a designer of chic restaurants and hotels.
Forgive me for saying at the outset that I’m rooting for Goil Amornvivat, and not just because he introduces himself as “Goil, as in gargoyle.” The kid is good.
As in any suspenseful reality contest, the unscripted results are edited to create a narrative that stresses interpersonal conflicts. Any hint of a tear will demand a lingering closeup; angry words will be allowed to run at length.
What “Project Runway” did for fashion and “Top Chef” did for the pro kitchen, “Top Design” purports to do for dwellings, including the catty infighting.
The concept is sound, perfectly tailored to the demands of American capitalism. Home is not merely where the heart is, but where the pop-mod-ethnic- vintage-ultra-modern accessories pile up.
For viewers who like to imagine what they might do with a blank check and free rein to create a room with a mood, and fill somebody else’s home with stuff, or for those who need fresh ideas on paint color, this show offers diverting help.
Mostly, though, it will pass the time until “Project Runway” returns this summer.
In the meantime, Bravo has announced a new fashion makeover series, “Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style,” with the “Runway” judge working from (and promoting) his new book, “Tim Gunn: A Guide to Quality, Taste & Style.”
Gunn’s new series presumably will fill a void for style mavens and self-appointed critics as the network’s groundbreaking “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” bows out after its fifth season this summer.
TV critic Joanne Ostrow can be reached at 303-954-1830 or jostrow@denverpost.com.
