Audiences are so engrossed, nearly every person in the packed room is scribbling notes on each twist and turn. Dramatic blackouts bring a collective, titillated murmur. Even a pack of high schoolers – high schoolers! – seems to hang on every word. The climax spurs a spontaneous squeal.
What might be responsible for this remarkable, almost unheard-of level of engagement in the theater? Shakespeare? Williams? Kushner?
Try one of the worst musicals ever written. It’s “Clue, the Musical” – and at the Country Dinner Playhouse it is, ultimately, inexplicably, a fun time.
This is the musical adaptation of the popular board game that has sold 50 million units since 1944 (talk about a built-in audience). Playing the game is, of course, the fun part here. Your narrator is also your corpse, Mr. Boddy (rim shot). There’s Col. Mustard, a scorching Miss Scarlet, et al. There’s a lead pipe and a candlestick and six rooms partitioned off by colorful paintings on the stage floor.
But “Clue” is great theater the same way “Deal or No Deal” is great TV. Which is to say, it’s not. There’s no plot, and the score is awful – the most relentlessly bad songs since Britney Spears’ last CD. It’s stilted, momentum-wrecking, operatic pabulum. Worse, the songs serve no purpose in playing the game.
The writing is lame; the tone weirdly Machiavellian. So it’s fun, how? Saving the day are 1) The game itself, which allows for 216 possible outcomes. 2) A tremendous ensemble that’s bluer in stock than Mrs. Peacock’s dress. And 3) Brian Mallgrave’s fun, inventive costumes.
Audience members pick the cards for each night’s murderer, weapon and location. (My initial guess of Col. Hatcher with a machete in the sauna soon proved wholly uninformed.)
The cards are placed in a secret envelope that remains in plain view until the end of the night. We proceed to meet each character and are sold six contrived, irrelevant motives.
Each scene ends with the narrator announcing a new clue in rhyme. Audiences follow along on clue sheets. (Two beefs: Pencils aren’t provided, and a blackout follows each clue at the exact moment audiences most need light to write.)
If you wonder how odd Mr. Boddy can offer accurate clues without having seen the secret cards, just consider that he has seen all the cards that were not placed in the secret envelope. Actor Michael Gold deserves props for keeping his constantly shifting clues straight.
We’re told this is all just an amusement. Problem is, it’s just not that amusing – at least not on the page. It is amusing on the stage thanks to veteran comic actors Sharon Kay White (Mrs. Peacock), Mark Rubald (Col. Mustard), Jimmy Ferraro (Mrs. White), Shannan Steele (Miss Scarlet), Thaddeus Valdez (Professor Plum) and my favorite, Jordan Leigh as a metaphor-mixing Mr. Green.
At times these actors chew on more scenery than a dinner crowd on bread sticks, but their over-the-top antics are all that’s keeping audiences from dropping dead in their soup.
Dumb as “Clue” is, this cast keeps audiences wholly involved. Those who solve the mystery get to to proudly stand and bow. They leave happy.
So if you like party games, pay to play. If you are looking for art, “Clue” may leave you as cold as poor Mr. Boddy.
“Clue, the Musical” | ** RATING
MUSICAL PARLOR GAME|Country Dinner Playhouse, 6875 S. Clinton St., Greenwood Village|Written by Peter DePietro (book)|Directed by Paul Dwyer|THROUGH MARCH 4|7:45 p.m. Wednesdays-Sundays; 1:45 p.m. Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays (dinner 90 minutes before)|2 hours, 15 minutes|$43-$49|303-799-1410 or countrydinnerplayhouse.com
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“TWO TRAINS RUNNING” Shadow Theatre presents August Wilson’s 1960s tale set where the displaced and the dreamers congregate in a dilapidated restaurant scheduled for demolition. 8 p.m. Thursday-Saturdays through Feb. 24 at 1420 Ogden St. $25 (2 for $30 Thursdays); 303-837- 9355 or shadowtheatre.com.
“DIVERSIONS AND DELIGHTS” It’s 1899. Oscar Wilde, exiled and alone, offers reminiscences and observations on a fascinating life. Starring Ed Baierlein in a piece made famous by Vincent Price. 8 p.m. Fridays-Saturdays, 7 p.m. Sundays through March 4 at the Germinal Stage Denver, 2450 W. 44th Ave. $15.75-$19.75 (303-455-7108)
“AS ABOVE, SO BELOW” In a world where things are not always what they seem, a college professor stands up for a truth – however strange and unpopular – and is marked for death by a government agency. By Denver playwright David McClinton. 8 p.m. Fridays-Saturdays through Feb. 24 at First Divine Science Church, 1400 Williams St. $17 at the door (No phone orders).
