Dear Amy: I spent the night at my friend’s house last weekend. “Emily” offered me some zero-calorie muffins for breakfast.
I ate four of them, said thank you, and went home. Emily knows that I am on a strict diet, so when I realized that I had gained 2 pounds that morning, I felt hurt and conned. Should I confront her with the evidence or forget about it?
– Feeling Rounder in Redmond
Dear Rounder: I hate to be the one to break this to you, but – sniff – there is no such thing as a zero-calorie muffin. Like Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and a Hollywood-style happily ever after, the zero-calorie muffin is an elusive, much-dreamed-about myth.
It’s clear that you haven’t learned one of the first rules of healthy eating: Your weight gain is not your friend’s responsibility. It is yours. You can gain weight on “no-calorie” muffins, low-fat yogurt, the cabbage soup diet or the all-you-can-eat-meat diet. You owe it to your health to learn how to eat well. (Hint: Eating four of just about ANYTHING muffinlike will get you into trouble.)
Please educate yourself about portion control and nutrition. One place to start is by reading “Ultimate Weight Solution for Teens: The 7 Keys to Weight Freedom,” by Jay McGraw (2003, Free Press).
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Dear Amy: My husband of six months has twice disappeared for hours with no reasonable reason or excuse. The first time, he left the house at 11 a.m. and came home the next morning. His excuse was that he was at a friend’s house and had too much to drink. He cried and admitted that he’s an alcoholic, so I let him off the hook.
The second time he was next door at his brother’s house from 7:30 until midnight. Ten minutes after he came home, he grabbed the keys to the van and left again. He came home the next night, leaving me alone all this time pregnant and sick.
I have three kids of my own, and he has a daughter, whom we have every weekend. I love her like my own.
Should I divorce him now before this baby is here, or should I wait and hope that he becomes more responsible? What reasonable- thinking adult would think that abandoning his wife and kids for such long stretches of time is OK?
– Sick at Home in OK
Dear Sick: Alcoholism is an explanation, not an excuse. “Waiting and hoping” for your husband to miraculously turn his behavior around is not a suitable strategy.
I can only urge you to realistically consider what life will be like for you and your children if things don’t improve after the next baby is born – and things aren’t likely to improve. Your husband needs to take many steps before he would be considered a suitable husband and father, starting with stopping drinking.
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