July 23 is “Yorvit Torrealba Night” at Coors Field. The first 40,000 fans named “Yorvit” or “Torrealba” will receive jerseys with “Yorvit Torrealba” across the back.
I’m just kidding.
But I’ll tell you what isn’t a joke. The Rockies are scheduled for a home series against the New York Yankees from June 19-21, but their other two interleague series in Denver are against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays and the Kansas City Royals.
Were Major League Baseball schedule-makers thinking, “Let’s just throw the worst teams in the leagues together and see what happens”? Somebody up there in the MLB office does believe the Rox and the Royals have some kind of natural rivalry, like England and Germany.
After the Rockies’ 2007 schedule was announced, the club’s ticket department did its usual spin about how ticket sales were hotter than pancakes. Frankly, the Rockies would be better off selling pancakes.
It’s not the ticket department’s fault. It’s hard to sell “Yorvit Torrealba” to the public at a hundred bucks for a couple of top tickets. It’s not Yorvit Torrealba’s fault. He’s not responsible if his parents didn’t name him Yorvit DiMaggio.
I won’t even blame the Rockies for their lack of “name” players.
But, couldn’t anyone at the Rockies come up with a better promotion than “Lunch Bag Night”?
At least they could have tried “If We Don’t Have More Victories Than Tampa Bay or Kansas City When They Come To Town We’ll Charge You Only Half Price Night.”
The Rockies will scoff, but I promise you, based on experience, that tickets for the Kansas City and Tampa Bay games will be available on Blake Street an hour before the game for $3.
And what’s the deal on the nine separate nights when the Rockies are offering team jersey T-shirts – are they jerseys or T-shirts? – to the first 5,000 fans. I feel bad for the father who takes his son and daughter, and they are 5,001-5,003 at the gate. Maybe he should take them on the nights when the Rockies won’t even have 5,000 fans at the ballpark. He can get 50 T-shirts for each of his kids.
I’m going to do my best to help the Rockies sell their tickets, but I’m not going to do it lying about the team as others do.
No matter what the ticket executives say, I checked Monday afternoon, and there are good, and, in many cases, great tickets at the Rockies’ website for practically every game, even the Yankees.
Let me offer you advice on tickets to buy and games to see:
1. San Francisco Giants, Sept. 3-5. I know the Rockies will be out of the race to win the division, but Barry Bonds might be in position to break Hank Aaron’s home run record at Coors Field. Don’t come crying to me if you don’t have tickets, particularly for the 3rd and 4th. If Bonds is only one away after the 4th, he’ll sit out the 5th. But what if he hits three or four homers on the 3rd and 4th? He can’t tank it to keep from breaking the record. Or could he? It will be a tainted accomplishment, but we’d want to be there.
2. New York Mets, July 3-4. Not the 2nd. Fireworks on the 3rd and the 4th, and if you go on the 3rd, a free flag (presumably, an American flag). Plus, the Mets will be an exceptional team. I think they will win their division this year, and I think I have a better chance of being right than a person in a high position with the Rockies who thinks the Rockies will win their division.
3. San Francisco, April 16, Los Angeles Dodgers, April 19, and San Diego Padres, April 21. If you want to see the team that will win the National League West, pick up tickets for games in these back-to-back-to-back series, and hope the snow has let up by then.
4. Yankees, June 19-21. Will A-Rod and Derek Jeter be openly fighting by then? Besides, they are the Yankees, and they’ve been my home team the past 2 1/2 seasons. Don’t be shut out.
5. Arizona Diamondbacks, April 2-4. Opener and the next two. Randy Johnson will be forced to pitch in one of those games. The “Beg Unit” can’t beg off as he has done in previous games in Denver. Plus, go out and see the fourth-best and fifth-best teams in the division.
6. St. Louis Cardinals, May 28-31. Only appearances by the defending world champions.
7. Chicago Cubs, Aug. 9-12. Only appearances by the potential world champions.
8. Arizona, Sept. 28. A third Fireworks Night, apparently celebrating the births of a Chinese philosopher (Confucius) and a King (Ben E.), and the death of another Rockies season.
9. Los Angeles, July 29. A 1:05 p.m. start, a perfect day for baseball and Yorvit Torrealba.
Staff writer Woody Paige can be reached at 303-954-1095 or wpaige@denverpost.com.
