Not to suggest the Broncos are desperately searching for stars, but the only man in America who has recently listened to more talent auditions than coach Mike Shanahan is Simon Cowell.
Denver has become the headquarters of extreme makeover, NFL edition.
To be honest with you, I didn’t know Shanahan had enough money under the salary cap to buy running back Travis Henry, defensive end Patrick Kerney and tight end Daniel Graham steak dinners, let alone offer them contracts as free agents.
So now we know why Shanahan thinks his team fell down and went boom, stumbling badly on its way to the Super Bowl last year.
The Broncos apparently could not walk and chew gum at the same time, let alone block, tackle or pass the football.
Is anybody safe around Dove Valley? Good thing the coach’s wife has a no-cut contract.
You can’t keep track of the cleat imprints on the rumps of ex-Broncos without a scorecard.
Think you were ticked about Denver missing the playoffs?
Shanahan has kicked from the premises former starting quarterback Jake Plummer, former starting tailback Tatum Bell and former starting tackle George Foster, not to mention bouncing to the curb everybody’s favorite pipe-smoking grandpa, former defensive coordinator Larry Coyer.
Talk about the infamous Denver boot. At this rate, if Shanahan fails to make the Hall of Fame as a coach, he might get his ticket punched to Canton as a punter. Shanny is kicking up serious dust.
After having tried for too long to win without stars, maybe Shanahan looked at his single postseason win in the past eight years and decided talent is what really makes a coach appear brilliant.
At age 54, there’s a lot of football left in Shanahan, but he and center Tom Nalen, to say nothing of you and me, are too old to waste another year the way the Broncos did in 2006, when the Honda Element that Shanahan was stuck driving could not get him where his team wanted to go.
But if all the wheeling, dealing, wining and dining tells us anything, it’s Shanahan believes everything wrong with the Broncos certainly cannot be pinned on Plummer, the big-hearted, bull-headed, hippy-dippy quarterback we sincerely hope finds peace of mind in the Peace Corps, or wherever his free spirit leads him as he ponders life after football.
It says here that Shanahan did more, better coaching the past two years than the championships that everybody stood up and cheered during the late 1990s.
But the talent pool in Denver, especially on the offensive side of the ball, has been drained for so long it has left even the most loyal Broncomaniacs thirsting for playmakers.
In the past three seasons, the lone offensive skill position player to earn a Pro Bowl appearance is Rod Smith, the old, gray wide receiver who ain’t what he used to be.
Shanahan bristles whenever it’s suggested his ability to evaluate personnel suffers greatly in comparison to the coach’s obvious genius for X’s and O’s.
While the trade for cornerback Champ Bailey was a smashing success, Shanahan’s track record on No. 1 draft choices can generously be described as hit-and-miss, with no player selected in the opening round becoming a big-time star for the Broncos since linebacker Al Wilson, a rookie in 1999.
The happy news is Shanahan realizes that if his team wants to win the Super Bowl again, the roster needs more than tweaking, it cries out for impact players.
The scary news is Shanahan will be picking those players.
Shanahan himself has said a young, talented quarterback such as Jay Cutler needs to be surrounded with stellar talent for the Broncos to be serious championship contenders.
How can Denver ensure it happens?
Well, maybe the team could hire Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson.
They know how to judge talent, dog.
Staff writer Mark Kiszla can be reached at 303-954-1053 or mkiszla@denverpost.com.
