Longmont – When I told people that my husband, Michael, and I were appearing on the TLC show “Bringing Home Baby” – about the first 36 hours at home with our newborn – reactions were predictable: “You’re doing what?!”
Sure, it was crazy to invite a reality TV crew into our home during the most intense, stressful and vulnerable time in our lives. But I couldn’t pass up the chance to create this treasured memento for our son, Brody.
Unfortunately, doing this also meant our son has indisputable proof that at first, his parents had no clue what we were doing. So here are some lessons about settling in at home with a little one from our steep climb up the parenthood learning curve.
Discuss a pet plan
Our two 9-year-old Siberian huskies, Kitah and Panda, are an important part of our lives. So it didn’t occur to us that it might be overwhelming to have them around that first night at home with Brody.
Panda was simply in my way while I was nursing or coddling the baby. But Kitah was agitated and barked most of the night. At one point, he nearly climbed into the crib.
At my wits’ end, I put both dogs in the backyard for the night. In hindsight, I wish we’d sent them to a kennel where they could play and be pampered while we adjusted to parenthood.
As the months passed, Kitah calmed down, but he still became overstimulated when Brody cried or screeched, and occasionally nipped and poked at the baby. We decided to consult trainer John Hendershot, co-owner of Two Bears Dog Training in Erie.
“The biggest (issue) by far … is that (dog owners) wait too long to address” behavioral problems, Hendershot says.
In general, problems arise when dogs fail to understand vocal control. When a dog exhibits predatory behavior like chasing squirrels, it doesn’t mean he or she will bite your child. But, Hendershot says, it is a red flag.
Ideally, first-time parents should train their dog “before the baby comes,” he says. If they don’t have that option but are committed to keeping the dog, don’t wait until the animal becomes isolated from the family to address behavioral issues. With training, your dog can become a part of the child’s life.
Start by bringing home a receiving blanket with the baby’s scent on it even before the infant comes home. Then, include the pets in daily life with baby, from nursing to walking with the stroller. Just remember, nothing trumps good training.
Keep an open mind
Like most first-time parents, we had strong opinions about how to care for our baby. One of the strongest was that we never planned to have Brody in our bed. We worried about rolling on top of him, and heard horror stories about moving the baby to a crib later on.
We were so steadfast in our belief that we didn’t even set up a bassinet in our room.
Then, during Brody’s first night home, he cried each time we tried to nestle him into his crib. Finally, around 6 a.m., we realized Brody did not want to be alone in his nursery.
Any guesses where he has slept for nearly a year? Smack in the middle of our bed. I actually love the opportunity it affords me to cuddle with Brody, and we no longer worry about crushing him in our sleep. But we still haven’t figured out when or how we’ll wean him off of our bed – hopefully before he’s driving!
The point: Keep an open mind during those first few weeks with baby. As my doctor said during Brody’s first checkup: It’s all about survival, so do what works.
Accept help
Americans are taught to be independent from birth. Seeking help isn’t our forte. But new parents will need all the support they can get.
If I could do it over, I would have asked my mom to stay with us the first few nights. As the weeks passed, I took up every offer from loved ones to do our grocery shopping, cook for us or run errands. I even accepted my neighbor’s generous offer to send over her cleaning lady for a day. This kind of help was key to weathering the newborn phase.
Get some fresh air
Don’t get me wrong when I say during that first week, I felt like a mama dog stuck in her whelping box. I loved nursing and caring for my son. But I also felt housebound and panicky. Those first couple of nights at home, anxiety left me unable to sleep – even when the baby slept.
I can’t emphasize enough how important it is for new moms to tell their doctor if they experience even the slightest twinge of postpartum anxiety or depression – like I did.
Daily walks and anti-anxiety medication helped restore my sanity. The sunshine and exercise made me feel like myself again, even on limited sleep.
I also made sure to run an errand at least once a week, just to get out of the house. At first, preparing to go anywhere with an infant seems like planning a major military offensive. But soon traveling with a diaper bag and stroller will become second nature.
One last thing: It does get easier. Before you know it, the demanding newborn days will be a distant memory, and you may be asking: “Honey, when can we do this again?”
Heather Mundt is a Colorado freelance writer.
