Dear Amy: I have been with my boyfriend for almost six years. I love him very much.
We are in our early 20s, and my boyfriend is balding.
I have no problem with his hairline, and I still find him very attractive.
The problem I have is with the comments/jokes his family and friends make about his hair.
My boyfriend is very good-natured about this, but I know it’s something he’s sensitive about and would not like thrown into his face at every opportunity. A few nights ago at a party for one of his family members, every single one of his siblings (ranging in age from 10 to 26) made a comment about his hairline.
I know that the younger kids may not know better and are simply following the lead of their older siblings, but I was absolutely floored by their behavior.
To me, this is the same as pointing out someone’s weight, which I don’t think anyone in their right mind would ever do.
Why do people think it is OK to make fun of someone who is balding? What can I do to make people realize that they are being hurtful – not funny?
-Not Even a Bit Funny
Dear Not Even A Bit: Who is to say that being bald is a bad thing? Surely there is no shame in joining the ranks of Bruce Willis, Andre Agassi, Montel Williams, Michael Jordan and the entire front line of the Arizona Cardinals.
Families have a special way of bullying one another, however, and the wounds that family members can inflict cut deep and can take a long time to heal.
Sometimes, depending on the particular family dynamic, letting family members know that you have a particular sensitivity only makes things worse.
Because of this, you and your guy might do best to find ways to laugh, celebrate and enjoy his baldness. If he feels good, then his family won’t have anything to bully him about.
Bald men have a variety of clever comebacks; my favorite is, “God made some men perfect. The others got hair.”
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