Kids make the best messes.
Each stinky sock, unwashed dish, unshelved book and misplaced toy in a kid’s room is like a merit badge from the Little Slob’s Book of Scouting.
Sometimes, parents simply give up. But they shouldn’t.
Consider the boy in Tom Lichtenheld’s book “What’s With This Room?” This little guy has accumulated a layer of bedroom funk for each year of school. “Mom, Dad, you don’t understand. It’s not random filth, everything’s planned!”
The boy’s mess includes an explosive pile of junk that eventually blows through the roof like a tornado of trash. Then, even he must concede that sometimes cleaning is OK.
This is far from the only tale of woe in an era when baking with Spam is more popular than getting kids to clean their rooms. In “Pigsty,” by Mark Teague, for instance, little Wendell Fultz ignores his mom’s cleaning request so many times that, eventually, real pigs move into his room because they feel more at home there than they do in the barnyard. Wendell likes the company of one pig, and manages to entertain two pigs. But when a pack of pigs curls up in his covers and nibbles his baseball cards, Wendell has had enough. “Many hooves make light work,” he declares before turning his pink pals into a bedroom cleaning crew.
But, without such fictional friends to encourage kiddy cleanup, parents sometimes feel like agents in a housekeeping version of “Mission: Impossible.” That’s when some experts try to remind them that there are greater threats to family life than kiddie clutter.
“Is this the battle you really want to fight?” asks Elise Fantle Shimberg. When the answer is yes – yes a clean room outweighs greater concerns like maintaining emotional well-being – this author and family therapist makes sure that kids know there are consequences to skimping on their chores.
“We have a generation of wimpy parents who expect little from their children,” Shimberg says. “If we expect our children to follow through, they will.”
Although, referring to cleaning as a “chore” may be the best way to torpedo a kid’s enthusiasm for the job. Instead, turn cleaning into a party or a game, or put the assignment into a song. Later, photograph the clean room and brag to other grown-ups about what a great job the kid did.
Giving kids clothes and towels to fold during television time, or enlisting clingy toddlers to help mom or dad with household chores, are two other ideas.
Massachusetts mom and founder of momcentral.com Stacy DeBroff collected these and other tips for helping kids clean in “The Mom Book: 4,278 of Mom Central’s Tips – for Moms From Moms” (Free Press, $21).
Instead of tacking up a boring list of chores, DeBroff suggests these variations:
Roll up slips of paper with cleanup chores on them. Put each one inside a balloon, then pop them. Or, pull them from a jar, hat, or basket to find the job of the day.
Roll the dice. The highest roller gets to choose the first cleanup task.
Attach funny or important sounding titles for each cleanup job.
Throw in slips of paper with treats written on them or “off duty.”
Allow kids one “do over” if he gets a chore that he absolutely hates.
“It is important to keep in mind that no matter how your child reacts to cleaning, you should still enlist his help,” DeBroff says. “Chores teach responsibility and give children a sense that they are making a contribution to the family.”
When all else fails, remember this: When it comes to kids, bribery is king.
Staff writer Elana Ashanti Jefferson can be reached at 303-954-1957 or ejefferson@denverpost.com.
Tips for raising a cleanup kid.
Nashville mom Alicia Rockmore is a self-proclaimed organizing maniac. The former accountant and marketing executive co-founded Buttoned Up Inc. (getbuttonedup.com), an Internet-based business designed to help busy women “tame the chaos” in their lives. Here, Rockmore offers six tips for getting kids to tidy up around the house.
My space. When kids decorate their own rooms, they take ownership of how those rooms look. Rockmore suggests giving kids a manageable budget – possibly $100 – to redesign their bedrooms. Because once children have rooms that they love, it becomes much easier to get them to keep them clean.
Easy and breezy. Cleaning up should be as effortless for your kids as possible. Every room should have a trash can, including the laundry room, computer room and hallway. Every bed room and bathroom should have a laundry basket. Parents have a much better chance that trash and dirty clothes will land in the right places. Also, kids should know that only the clothes that make it to a laundry basket will actually get washed.
Smiles all around. Make cleanup a game by setting a 5-minute timer and seeing who can get their room cleaned before the buzzer goes off. The winner might get to pick out a movie for the night or enjoy an extra helping of dessert.
Television time. Even watching television is productive with a family tidying game called “Commercial Clean.” Simply pick a TV show – it’s “Grey’s Anatomy” in the Rockmore house. During that hour, everyone takes a speed-cleaning break during the commercials.
Use a stick. Preoccupied teens and preteens may need to know there are consequence of not cleaning up after themselves. One option: The “What I Find on the Floor” game. Give warning, then collect and keep anything you find on the floor. It only takes confiscating an iPod before a kid gets the point.
Use a carrot. Otherwise known as bribery, reward kids for cleaning up after themselves. In the end, for some kids, this works the best. If you don’t like the idea of paying your kids to do their chores, try giving them extra TV time, video-game time or even cellphone minutes.
