“Do you have any mattresses without formaldehyde?”
My friend Susan approaches an unsuspecting salesman. She’s in the mattress store with her husband, Michael, trying to prove a point.
“Formaldehyde?” the salesman repeats.
“You know – the liquid those frogs you dissected in science class were soaked in?” Susan clarifies. Michael rolls his eyes.
“Of course our mattresses don’t have formaldehyde,” the salesman says.
“Wonderful,” Susan replies. “Then your corporate office won’t mind providing me with a letter confirming that no toxic chemicals went into your mattresses.”
Michael sighs. The salesman stutters. Susan prompts him to call company headquarters. Susan and Michael listen to the salesman’s side of the conversation, which grows progressively quieter. He hangs up, and says, “We have no mattresses without chemicals, but chemicals aren’t a problem. That’s all I can say.”
The couple leaves. Michael says Susan is nuts. Susan says Michael is nuts.
Later that day, I stop by their house to pick up a book, and the bedroom sparks are still flying – just not the right kind of sparks. They share this mattress store scene with me. I listen to both sides as if refereeing a tennis match.
Susan, who’s into yoga and this daily green drink that tastes like cow cud, wants a mattress free of alleged toxins like formaldehyde, and made from cotton grown without pesticides. “I don’t want to breathe in toxins all night,” she insists.
Michael, who runs on logic and numbers, is adamant: “I’m not going to buy a mattress I can’t lie down on.”
The mattress Susan wants is available only online and costs more than those at local stores.
Hoo-boy. Like most marital arguments, including most of mine, this one wasn’t just about a mattress, but also about money, power, principles, sex, and who won the last argument. Fueling the fight was the fact that they also needed a mattress for the guest room, and fast. Guests were coming in three days.
Seeing no easy resolution, I slip like a coward out the nearest exit. Next day, I call to see how the problem shook out. Michael answers.
“We hammered out a peace treaty,” he says. For the guest room, they will order a non-organic mattress, one that he’s tried and knows is comfortable, plus is cheaper and can arrive within two days. But they’ll buy “toxin-free” for their own room.
“You gave in?” I say.
“Nothing good comes of an angry woman in the bedroom.”
“What if the mattress isn’t comfortable?”
“There’s always the guest room,” he says, “where I would have wound up anyway.”
Whether or not you choose to go green in the bedroom, finding a mattress you and your partner are both comfortable with – and on – is important. No matter how beautiful the bed is, or how yummy the bedding, if the mattress keeps you tossing, you’ve missed the point.
Marni Jameson is a nationally syndicated columnist living in the Denver area. Contact her through marnijameson.com.
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What you need to know when you’re shopping for mattresses
Here are mattress-buying tips from Nancy Butler with the Better Sleep Council in Alexandria, Va.
Lie down on the job. Picking a mattress is subjective. Try several. You have to lie on the mattress long enough to feel where pressure points occur. Don’t feel embarrassed about lying in the position you usually sleep in. Tell the salesperson to go away for a while, and spend 10-15 minutes lying on each mattress you’re considering. If you sleep with a partner, do this as a couple. It’s not true that harder mattresses are better.
Know the different core cushioning systems. Foam and spring mattresses are most popular. Some mattresses have memory foam, which offers a slow rebound. A lot of people love this, while others feel as if they’re sinking. Air mattresses offer adjustability, so one side of the bed can be firmer than the other, a feature many couples like. Folks with allergies often like Latex mattresses because of their natural rubber content.
The box is part of the package. Manufacturers engineer mattresses to work with certain box springs. If you want to replicate the mattress feel you felt in the store, you need both parts. If you don’t use a box spring and just want a mattress – popular among those who want a lower profile bed – that’s fine. Just know that the mattress will wear out faster.
Look under the bed. You could have a great mattress and the right box spring, and still not the right feel because of what’s holding up the system. Wood slats usually aren’t strong enough. Have someone lie on the bed, then look under it. If the slats bow, put a supporting leg from the center of each wood slat to the floor. Steel slats are stronger than wood ones.
Don’t hand it down. When replacing your old mattress, which you might consider every decade or so, don’t hand it down to your kids or put it in the guest room. That’s just rude. Old mattresses have an ick factor.
Please your partner. If having an organic mattress made of pesticide-free cotton and no synthetic chemicals is important to you or your partner, then get one. It’s not worth losing sleep over.
