A national story of extraordinary insignificance broke this week.
You may have heard about a new survey ranking the rudest and most-courteous cities to drive in.
And Denver, you may also have heard, did very well.
I’m not surprised. Take, for instance, those absent-minded moments when you fail to move the instant a stoplight turns green. In New York, Washington and Chicago, you may, at best, be allotted 0.03 nanoseconds to get moving before facing a chorus of honks and vicious slurs against your dear mother.
Not in Denver. At least, not always.
Rarely do Denverites flip the bird at drivers who cut them off … I’ve noticed. To an outsider, Denver drivers seem eternally courteous, hopelessly patient, good sports and solid citizens.
The recent AutoVantage road- rage survey asked more than 2,500 drivers who regularly commute in 25 major metropolitan areas to rate their cities on these vital questions.
The survey found that the vehicular decency of a Denver motorist was sixth-best in the nation – trailing only Portland, Ore.; Dallas-Fort Worth; St. Louis; Seattle-Tacoma; and Pittsburgh.
“The way we measured the cities, we looked at trends and actions that trigger road rage – running red lights; slamming on brakes; putting on makeup, shaving and reading while driving; talking on a cellphone; and actually slamming into a car and using a vehicle as a weapon,” explains Todd Smith, spokesman for the polling firm.
Shaving?
Now, slamming into cars, even I can admit, can be categorized as road rage, but how exactly do we define this term? Does hurling insults at other drivers or gnashing your teeth mean you’re guilty?
“You’re right, one of problems is the nebulous notion of road rage,” said Smith. His survey found that drivers define the vague affliction of road rage as “bad/careless/crazy and/or rude driving, cutting into lanes, cutting people off, tailgating, speeding, and/or honking.”
A rather broad definition. “Bad” drivers aren’t always angry, “crazy” drivers may be in a rush for a very good reason, and honking may hold the legitimate purpose of getting your attention.
But the key, Smith explains, is the trigger. Or what I call blaming the victim.
Seeing people driving while talking on a cellphone, for instance, allegedly triggers the most road rage. (In Denver, according to the survey, drivers were less inclined to talk on a cellphone than in any other major metropolitan area in the U.S.)
And once a driver is triggered, what does he/she do? Here are the top six reactions: 1. Honking. 2. Cursing. 3. Waving a fist in the air. 4. Obscene gestures. 5. Calling the police. And, finally, 6. Slamming the car into another vehicle.
Isn’t it heartening to know that motorists will call the authorities before plowing into your Volkswagen Jetta? What can a conscientious driver do to stem this madness?
Smith directs me to a useful tips sheet. Below are the highlights (paraphrased).
Remain calm and in “a positive frame of mind,” but never make eye contact with an angry driver (it makes them angrier), and never ever underestimate their “capacity for mayhem.” Finally, before you react, ask yourself this question: “Is getting back worth my life?”
Common sense. And it’s also common sense that residents collectively take on the characteristics of their city. I can assure you a drive on D.C.’s beltway during rush hour has the potential to bring out man’s dark side – even a typically unruffled Denver driver.
Andy Goetz, professor in the department of geography and the Intermodal Transportation Institute at the University of Denver, says that, “yes, cities have personalities.”
“People do take on certain characteristics, and a lot of it has to do with size and density – among other cultural factors.”
I’m not sure we need a survey to tell us that high-density metropolitan areas produce aggressive drivers.
Denver drivers are like Denver.
Sunny.
David Harsanyi’s column appears Monday and Thursday. Reach him at 303-954-1255 or dharsanyi@denverpost.com.
