Dear Amy: We have two children. The oldest, a 4-year-old, is mine from a previous relationship. My husband is verbally abusive. He swears in front of the children, belittles us and is controlling.
The new thing is that he is now verbally abusive to our 1-year-old, calling him names such as “brat” and “evil.” He was angry the other day and charged at me and acted as though he was going to throw a solid concrete planter at me in front of the children.
I immediately left the home that day with our children and returned home the following day, but only because he said that it is best to put the kids back in their home where they have some normalcy.
It has been three days, and I don’t know what to do.
I work only on the weekends, and I need him to begin watching the children so I can work.
We started going to counseling about two weeks before this last incident.
He wants physical contact with me, which I have refused. What do I do from here?
– Worried
Dear Worried: Your husband’s behavior seems to be escalating, and based on what you have said, you shouldn’t take his word for what’s best for the kids.
I know that this is challenging and that you need child care while you work, but in my view you shouldn’t leave your husband alone with the children.
Call the counselor you’ve been seeing and elicit that person’s help. You need to find a safe place where you can stay – with a friend, family member or at a shelter. If you need additional help, counselors at the National Domestic Violence Hotline (ndvh.org) are available 24 hours a day. Call if you have any questions or concerns; they will help to guide you through this process – 800-799-SAFE (7233).
If you and your husband have any hope of succeeding as a family, you should only do so with professional support and mentoring to develop some strategies for dealing with the stresses of family life.
The injuries from threats and name-calling can last longer than physical scars.
…
Dear Amy: More on getting pressured by telephone sales associates.
When I’m ordering by telephone with a party that’s made me endure an end-of-call pitch previously, I start my conversation by saying, “I’d like to place an order, on one condition.” (I say this in a friendly voice.) “The condition is that I not be invited to buy anything else. Can you ignore that part of your script without getting fired?” They’ve never needed my next step, which would be speaking to their supervisor.
– Satisfied Customer
Dear Satisfied: This sounds like an efficient way of dealing with “end-of-call pitches.”
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