Dan and Basha Barnhart: Making new music
Dan Barnhart, 39, works at an interactive advertising agency and plays in the rock band Frequent Sea. His daughter, Basha Alexandria, was born March 24.
How has fatherhood changed life in the band?
We can’t play as late, and we moved the band out of the house. We got a rehearsal studio.
What’s the impact on your attitude toward life?
It puts your priorities in order. Sleep deprivation can be so amazing, or inspirational. It might be the survival thing that kicks in, but being dizzy makes you more emotional, or visceral. You have a more instinctual reaction to the world.
And your life in advertising?
From the work perspective, you don’t have as much free time for doing work. I don’t work quite as many hours at night because I try to spend more time with Basha.
How does being a dad affect your marriage?
If someone had told me before the baby that I’d get much closer to my wife, I don’t know that I would have believed it. But now I do. We’ve become much more of a team. We were a team before but not in any creation-of-life perspective. We were always very romantic anyway, but I think it makes you understand what romance is really about, why it’s there in the first place. Before, you’d be romantic to maybe make yourself feel better or your relationship more secure or make other people feel better about the relationship. Now it’s a team thing.
– Colleen O’Connor
Brian and Giovanni Fuentes: Taking pride in providing
Brian Fuentes, 31, is a closer for the Colorado Rockies baseball team. His son, Giovanni Paolo, was born May 4, 2006.
How did fatherhood change your perspective?
I think the biggest thing is that it puts your priorities in perspective. You kind of realize how selfish a person you really are. I never really considered myself selfish, but when you have a child that comes into your life all of your attention goes that way. It makes you go, “Wow.” That makes you happy, fulfilling the needs of your child.
What’s the coolest part of being a dad?
Seeing his smile in the morning. He wakes up in his crib and has a big smile. Then he jumps into your lap and it warms your heart. He’s 15 months, and he’s all over the place, a go-getter.
How does it influence your life as a ballplayer?
I have always been a hard worker. I work hard for teammates and now my family. I am a provider. I do this because I enjoy it and it’s how I make a living. I want to be able to provide for him, anything he wants.
What’s the impact of fatherhood on your relationship with your wife?
I think it’s made it better. We were married for three years before he came into our lives and we dated for three years before we got married so we had plenty of time just the two of us. We were ready to expand our family. Once he’s come along, when we have quiet time, we ask ourselves, “What are we supposed to do?”
What’s the meaning of Father’s Day to you?
It’s a day to appreciate being a father and my father. I had a positive role model in my life. I strive to do that. I was telling my dad the other day that I kind of took it for granted. He did a great job, and you expect it. And once you become an adult, you realize there are a lot of kids who didn’t have that positive impact in their lives and they have problems and issues because of it. I was fortunate.
– Troy E. Renck, Denver Post national baseball writer
Dave and Mia Foster: A new reason to be safe
Dave Foster, 35, is a firefighter with the Denver Fire Department. His daughter, Mia Elizabeth, was born Jan. 16.
How has fatherhood changed your outlook on life?
My life changed focus from my happiness to her happiness. I’m trying to set up a (strong) foundation for her, so that everything I do benefits her. From my relationship with my wife, us staying stable, to the little things, like cutting the lawn every week. That’s not as important now. Time with her is most important. Working to keep a stable job and household is so much more important now.
Are you more careful as a fireman now, like stepping a little more gingerly here and there?
Fatherhood didn’t slow me down at all, but I think a little bit more before I act. Rather than trying to be the first person (on the scene), I want to be the safest person there, and move us forward in a very deliberate and safe way. I drive, so when I hear the bell or the long ring or we get a call, my first thought has always been the safety of my crew. But now having a new little one at home, that validates the whole reason to be safe.
What about fatherhood and your romantic life?
My wife is great. We got the best advice from my sister. She said, ‘Children are the most wonderful thing in the world, but to raise a child, the mother and father have to get along like when they were dating or just got married.’ We still go on dates. We get babysitters and have our date night. It’s different than before, because we anticipate date nights more. They’re an event to look forward to. It’s a team effort by me and my wife, to maintain our love and attraction for each other throughout our marriage.
What surprised you the most about fatherhood?
The actual physical time you have to commit to the little brand-new baby. You literally have to be there all the time. You want to make sure nothing happens to her. Every little cry, you’re up. All of a sudden, sleep is not as important.
– Colleen O’Connor, Denver Post staff writer
Tony and Anthony Garcia: Time to be a role model
Tony Garcia, 30, is a mutual-funds adviser who spends much of his free time coaching kids’ sports leagues. His son, Anthony Clayton, was born Nov. 17, 2006.
How has fatherhood affected your mentoring activities, like baseball with the Denver Police Activities League?
It makes me feel more whole, which is something I’ve not felt in a long time. I learned early that I like working with kids and mentoring kids. I’ve been doing it six years now. I started coaching to help a friend, and I enjoyed it. I didn’t have a kid on the team. It was more like being a positive role model. Now I have a child of my own, it makes more sense all around.
How has it changed your perspective on life?
It gives me more drive. I always thought that when I retired, I’d like to know that I did what I could in the community to make it safer, by working with kids. Now that I have a son of my own, I have even more desire to stay on that path. Not just as a role model for him but for everyone. It means more to be respectable, hardworking and to give back when you can.
What’s the impact of fatherhood on life as a mutual-funds adviser?
It’s given me more desire to do better all around. Before, (if) things didn’t work out well, I’d start over somewhere else. Now I’m more determined to advance and make sure I’m in a position to give him everything he needs in life. I could take classes, go back to school for my master’s degree.
And your romantic life?
He’s only 5 months, so we don’t really have much romantic life right now. We’ve gotten along better than before he was born, and it’s great. It’s important for us to be married and have a good relationship. My goal is to give him as many positive reinforcements as possible, and as a couple, we try to keep the same goals for our family.
What’s the biggest surprise about fatherhood?
For me, it’s how comfortable and familiar it all felt. I’ve worked with kids before, but now I have my own. People say it’s different when you have your own, but it wasn’t really for me. It’s just more rewarding. They made it sound challenging, but I didn’t feel burdened at all. I feel like all my hard work paid off, and now I have something to show for it.
– Colleen O’Connor
Joe and Anna DeNichols: A higher purpose
Joe DeNichols, 31, is a design center director for a semiconductor electronics company. His daughter, Anna Marie, was born Oct. 20, 2006.
How does fatherhood impact life as a high-tech worker?
The biggest thing is, having a child turns me into the sole breadwinner, which is extremely different. That level of responsibility is new to me. As design-center director, the success or failure of the work determines how much money you make a year. It wasn’t that big a deal before, but now I’m starting to pay attention a bit more because the ramifications of success or failure are much greater now.
I’m extremely focused. I don’t screw around at work anymore. Before, it would be, “Oh, if I want to work an extra hour tonight, OK.” Now I come in, and put my head down. I don’t chitchat anymore, I don’t check the news anymore. I work as hard as I can, put in nine or 10 hours, and then I want to go home and see my kid.
I have never experienced absolute immediate unconditional love for someone like I did (with her.) It’s life-altering, and it’s immediate. I love my wife, but it wasn’t immediate. This person was born, and all she has to do is look at me. It grabs you, and you’re melted.
Especially being an engineer, I’m not the most emotional person already, so I’m not used to this level of emotional connection to anything or anyone. My parents and family are all very close, but not like this. Immediate unconditional love is very powerful.
How has your romantic life been affected?
My wife and I had gotten comfortable, not boring, but we’d been together for 11 years. So we’d mastered getting along with each other, and knew everything about each other. Things had gotten easy. So this is a whole new challenge for our relationship, one that’s taken us to a new level. It’s been a great time together, this new adventure.
How does fatherhood impact your view on life?
I’m better able to cope with things because I have a little bit of a higher purpose now. I’m not working or living for myself anymore. I’m doing it for someone else, providing for someone else. It’s easier to cope with the ups and downs of life when you have a higher purpose for yourself.
– Colleen O’Connor
