Ahh, summer vacation. Just when you’re savoring a relief-filled moment, celebrating the fact that you’ve survived another nine months of making lunches, prodding cranky kids out of bed, finding lost school shoes, finishing 11th-hour projects and getting to the bus on time, along comes something else to stress about.
“What are your summer vacation plans?” someone inquires after telling you her family will be going to Milan, then touring the Greek islands, but only after little Sarah goes to Stanford math camp and does a week of gymnastics with Bela Karolyi.
“Uhh, err,” I stammer. “We’ll be vacationing on premises.” I borrow this handy phrase from the Brits, who usually say things, including “We’re staying home,” better than we do. A flash of pity crosses this globe-trotter’s face, then she moves on to play My Vacation’s Better Than Yours with someone more interesting – someone jetting off to, say, the Galapagos Islands.
No pity necessary: I’m thrilled to stay home. Apparently, so are a lot of people as fewer of them are taking vacations, according to a survey conducted last year by the Conference Board. This private research group determined that 60 percent of the 5,000 households polled had no intention of going away on vacation in the next six months, marking a 28-year low.
Analysts blame gas prices and job pressures. Nonsense, I say. People are staying home because they have fixed up their digs and want to spend more time enjoying them. If money was the issue, then camping – the cheapest vacation option of all – wouldn’t also be in decline. But overnight stays at national parks fell 20 percent between 1995 and 2005, according to the U.S. Forest Service. In 2006, visits were down 4.3 percent.
What these overpaid analysts fail to note is that home improvement spending is concurrently on the rise. In its annual online survey of people’s goals, reported that in 2007, the biggest shift occurred in the home improvement category. Sixty-four percent of those surveyed planned to remodel their homes, compared with 45 percent in 2006. The Home Improvement Research Institute also expects the $287 billion market to grow at a rate of 4.6 percent over the next five years.
Makes sense to me. The nicer your home, the less you want to sleep in a strange bed or sit by a river and feed mosquitoes.
Of course, money drives both trends, but I suspect rationalizations go like this: “Would I rather remodel the kitchen, which I will enjoy year-round, or blow thousands of dollars on two weeks in the Bahamas for a sunburn and a stack of photos I’ll never put in an album?” And I can sure see people looking at gas prices and thinking, “Geez, for that kind of money, I’ll put in a swimming pool.”
I love to travel, but I also love my home. And I don’t think I’m alone in feeling that one of the best parts of vacation is coming home.
Marni Jameson is a nationally syndicated columnist living in the Denver area. Contact her through
—————————————-
The perfect home vacation
Most Americans plan to stay home this summer instead of going on a vacation. If you’re one of them, here’s a guide to “vacationing on premises.”
Take dedicated time off and don’t feel guilty.
Start clean and end clean. If you don’t have a housekeeper, use the money you will save staying home to pay someone to thoroughly clean your house. Then don’t lift a finger. When your home vacation is over, have the person back to clean again.
Unplug. Turn off the cellphone, BlackBerry and laptop. Pretend you’re unreachable.
Don’t do work around the house. Don’t work on the yard or clean out the garage. Declare this a chore-free time. Relax, have fun and recharge.
Make your home a resort. Outside, create an outdoor room with chairs oriented toward the best view, comfy cushions and an umbrella. Move potted plants around to create outdoor walls. Add a little music, set up a mini bar and put a paper parasol in your drink. Inside, turn your bathroom into a spa with scented candles, nice bath salts and loofah sponges. Hire a masseuse to come to the house.
Stay out late on a weeknight. If you normally don’t stay out weeknights because you have work or school the next day, break out and get weeknight theater tickets, or let the kids close down the amusement park on a Tuesday.
Take day trips. Do what tourists do when they come to your area. Visit a nearby national park. Rent a sailboat. Go to the zoo. Take in a museum. Have tea in a fancy hotel. Take the kids to a water park. Spend the afternoon in a bookstore.
Keep cooking to a minimum. Use those takeout menus you’ve been collecting. And splurge on a restaurant you’ve been longing to try.
Pretend you’re camping without the dirt. Roast hot dogs and marshmallows on the backyard grill or in the fireplace.
Enjoy the fact that this summer, you’ll have no bag to pack and lug, no airport hassles, no jet lag, no reservations to book, no itineraries to plan, no hotel expense, no dog and plant sitter to hire, and fewer bug bites.
If anyone asks about your summer vacation plans, tell them you’re vacationing on premises. They’ll be jealous. I assure you.
