Let’s imagine for a moment that you are a celebrity. Not just any celebrity, mind you, but a big movie star with a big movie about to hit theaters.
Of course you want to promote the movie. In fact, you are contractually obligated to do it.
But there is that embarrassing recent episode involving the cops/courts/ex-spouse (pick one) and your use of drugs/alcohol/violence (pick one) and your subsequent stay in jail/rehab/a psych ward (pick one).
While you must meet with the media to promote your movie, you would rather not be grilled about your recent difficulties by an endless procession of inquisitive interviewers.
You have gone out of your way to avoid the media since the incident by shunning red-carpet premieres, awards shows and trendy nightclub openings.
But now you don’t have much of a choice, do you? Well, what was formerly a sticky situation is no problem at all with the exponential expansion of celebrity-based media publications and TV shows. Where a spotlight-shy celebrity once had to negotiate a gantlet of intimidating journalists, it is now possible to promote a movie through a network of celebrity-friendly interviewers who are more than willing to please in the pursuit of higher TV ratings.
For lack of a better term, let’s call this the Celebrity Safety Zone – a territory that is long on good cheer and short on stomach acid. The Zone has three classifications.
In descending order of shamelessness, they are “The Love Fest,” “The Easy Button” and “The Real Journalistic (Wink, Wink) Interview.”
Among the purveyors of the first category are Oprah Winfrey, Ellen DeGeneres, Regis Philbin and the ladies of “The View.” Oprah is queen of the schmooze celebrity interview. I suppose it’s possible that a woman of such intelligence could love every movie featured on her talk show, and that every celebrity who appears on her show is her best friend who just turned in the most spectacular performance in the history of the cinema. It could happen.
I would enjoy going on Ellen’s show. This likable talk-show host is so grateful to get celebrities that she rarely even asks them any questions, let alone tough questions.
“The Easy Button” is represented by the kings of late-night television, Jay Leno and David Letterman.
Leno and Letterman are the worst interviewers on the planet, but no one expects them to ask insightful questions of their celebrity guests. These guys are comedians, and the audience expects only that they entertain.
Finally, there is the entertainment interview masking as real journalism, practiced by the likes of Larry King, Barbara Walters and Diane Sawyer.
There is a reason Paris Hilton ran to King’s show after her $1 million deal with NBC fell through. She knew it would be an experience that would not tax even her brain. It seems like a gutsy move, but celebrities know the real story.
And Walters, despite her impressive credentials from her former life as a real newsperson and her knack for making people cry, is not much better.
Anwar Sadat was a long time ago. Now Barbara only wants to make nice with her celebrity guests. And they know it.
