For some baffling reason, my daughter’s eighth-grade girlfriends elected me the mom they would most like to back them up in a bar fight.
Unlikely as that scenario is, (Besides they have no business being in a bar – ever!) I take this as perhaps the best compliment I’ve ever received.
Oh, but that their tough-mom perceptions were true. I need that shot of confidence right about now as I face a landscaper conflict. I’d like a “Bar Fighter Mom” T-shirt and a matching attitude because, truth is, in the face of conflict I crumble like coffee cake.
The fight started in the backyard, where we have this water feature. Actually it’s a problem-ridden rock pile that squirts water and tries to look like a natural waterfall, as opposed to something that belongs on a miniature golf course. To say that this water feature is temperamental is like saying Mike Tyson has anger issues.
Every year, the feature must be serviced. This time, instead of asking for help from my lawn maintenance guy – the only person I know whose skill set shrinks each year – I asked the local pond supply store to refer a water-feature specialist. The scheduler for this water feature specialist, whom we’ll call WFS, explained that WFS would charge $20 to show up and $20 for every 15 minutes, which told me two things: I’m in the wrong line of work, and he’d better make it snappy.
WFS spent 30 minutes fixing the two pumps, and 15 minutes oiling and adjusting the auto-refill feature. Technically, he was done, but apparently WFS has learned from lawyers how to bill because he spent the next 30 minutes explaining and re-explaining what he did, 30 minutes talking me into buying chemicals to treat an algae problem we don’t have and 15 minutes writing a receipt, while smoking, time he also charged me for. The bill for his time, supplies and the ridiculously expensive chemicals ($120!) came to $320. After he left, I sat on my front steps fanning my fury with my greatly diminished checkbook.
Fifteen minutes later, half the water feature stopped working. I felt that bar fighter in me rise up. I thought about calling WFS but was afraid he’d start the clock again. I called WFS’s boss, the company owner. Our phone conversation quickly turned uncivil, and included these lines:
Owner: “I’m trying to understand how we’re to blame here.”
Me: “If you would let me finish before interrupting.”
It degenerated from there.
Eventually, he said he and WFS would be over, making clear that if this was a new problem, I’d be charged. I braced myself for one of those auto-shop-type confrontations, where the guy says he can’t help that your transmission fell out the minute you left the shop; that had nothing to do with the new brakes he put in. I ate a handful of Tums, answered the door with my jaw set, and pretended I was wearing my “Bar Fighter Mom” T-shirt.
In the end – and I don’t know whether the owner thought WFS botched the job, or whether he didn’t want me to complain to the referring pond shop about him – they got my water feature running right and didn’t charge more. The owner did, however, recommend about $400 more work. I asked for a written bid. I’m still waiting.
Marni Jameson is a nationally syndicated columnist living in the Denver area. Contact her through.
How to handle conflicts with a contractor
I called Matt Maury, president of Home Owners Club, a Seattle company that helps solve home upkeep issues, to find out how I might better handle future contractor conflicts. The company also runs., which offers subscribers information on home maintenance, specialists and fraud protection. Here’s what Maury advised:
Stop that check. If you’ve paid the contractor and the situation sours right away, stop payment on the check or call your credit card company and ask for a pay freeze. This buys you time to solve the problem.
Finish with the person you started with. Unless you really don’t want this contractor back to your home, give him the chance to make things right.
Use leverage. Invoking the name of the person or company that referred you is often enough to make the contractor want to save his reputation – and his referral source.
Assume the best. Save the accusations. Start gently with the assumption that most contractors care about their reputations and want to do the right thing.
Focus on the problem. Whether dealing with the worker or the supervisor, you’ll get better results if you focus on what still isn’t right, rather than the worker’s incompetence. (My mistake: Complaining to the boss about his employee made the boss defensive.)
Contact your Better Business Bureau. The BBB can put a ding on a company’s businesses record and has a dispute resolution service to help consumers.
Accept the olive branch. If an owner makes good and points out extra work you need done, he’s trying to regain your confidence, says Maury. “That’s a good sign.” Or maybe he’s heard what I’d be like in a bar fight.
