Dear Amy: My wife and I have been married for about a year. We live on 5 acres. Woods surround us on three sides and we have a 6-foot fence. My wife knew I was a naturist before we married. She dislikes seeing me in the nude all of the time. I do my share of the housework and all of the yard work in the nude. When we have people over, I wear clothing.What can I do to change my wife’s mind about being a naturist?
– Bob
Dear Bob: You knew that your wife was a fully clothed non-naturist when you married her, so why does she have to change to suit you? Why don’t you change? I understand that as a naturist you are attached to your clothing-optional way of life, but if there’s any activity that I think of as being compatible with wearing clothing it would be yard work. Watch that hedge trimmer!
The website for the Naturist Society (naturistsociety.com) offers this very practical and sensitive advice for you: “Typically, women are more wary than men of clothing-optional venues. But everyone, male and female, has ‘body issues.’ For some, the idea of being seen nude – and seeing others nude – is filled with psychological tension. A spouse, friend or partner can help reduce the tension, but only if caution and sensitivity are exercised. … There is a line between encouragement and coercion. Don’t cross it … ”
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Dear Amy: My youngest son is almost 24 years old. After completing a two-year college course in computer science, I’m told there are no jobs! He has settled into a routine of working 25 hours a week as a waiter at night. He sleeps until noon or 1 p.m. every day, and he stays out late every night. He isn’t paying room and board because he has no money. My wife doesn’t think it’s a big deal, and she says that he will find his way soon. Should I even be worried about this?
– Worried in Conn.
Dear Worried: A waiter working the dinner shift at a busy restaurant works very hard and can make good money – more money than in some 9-to-5 jobs. If your son doesn’t have enough money to support himself, then you should investigate where his money is going. Your son might not be a 9-to-5 guy, and you pushing him won’t turn him into one. But your goal for him should be for him to be the best version of himself that he can be.
A 24-year-old still living at home is starting to get a little ripe around the edges, like a peach going bad. Before your son spoils, do him a favor and urge him to move out of your house and on his own. He needs to continue to grow up, and he’ll do more of that without you and his mother fretting and fighting about him.
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