Dear Amy: I’ve been married for more than 15 years, and I recently received a wedding invitation from a colleague addressed to me only.
On the RSVP card, the number “1” was filled in where it says, “number in attendance.” Should I attend without my wife? Should I send a gift if I don’t attend? Should I mention it to the groom because I’ll see him before the wedding? It appears that they are on a tight budget, and I suspect others have received the one-only invitation, too. I definitely do not plan to attend without my wife.
Your opinion please? – Wedding Invitee
Dear Invitee: Spouses should always be included in a wedding invitation. Of course you wouldn’t attend without your wife. You should thank your colleague in writing and say that you and your wife have other plans. Say, “I wish you and your new wife all of the married happiness that my wife and I share.” It is completely up to you whether you want to give him a gift; you’re not obligated to.
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Dear Amy: At my place of work, it is a habit for secretaries to hand out food that has been left over from a meeting. People tend to swoop in and scoop up this free food, even if they brought their lunch.
I am having a problem with people taking this free food. I don’t take it because I always bring my lunch. I know that there are probably plenty of other people who could really use lunch that day. One of my bosses, for instance, never gets a break.
Should I take a free meal, or should I let someone else have it that I think could really use it? – Thanks But No Thanks
Dear Thanks: It is clear that this really bothers you, so by all means you shouldn’t indulge in something that makes you uncomfortable. However, please don’t judge people who choose to enjoy this bounty. Life in the office is often dull enough – these perks help people to get through the day.
It is not necessary for you to look after your bosses’ welfare. In most office environments, people grab whatever little freebies they can and the bosses are quite capable of taking care of themselves. (That’s how they became bosses.)
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