“I am sorry.”
These may be the three most profitable words. The more you say them, the more you earn.
Americans who make six-figure salaries are nearly twice as likely to apologize than people who earn less than $25,000, according to an online survey of 7,590 by pollster Zogby International.
The Pearl Outlet, an online jeweler, commissioned the poll after noticing that an increasing number of its customers were buying pearls to apologize to their significant others.
Some explanations: High-wage earners are more secure about themselves and can more readily apologize; high- wage earners are more willing to learn from mistakes; or high-wage earners trample more people and make more apologies.
“Maybe higher earners apologize more because, as someone once said, it’s easier to apologize afterwards than to ask permission beforehand,” said Terry Shepherd, the Pearl Outlet’s president. “High-wage earners ask permission less.”
One thing seems clear: Apologies boost jewelry sales.
“I apologize every day to my wife for marrying her,” jokes Denver jeweler Jay Feder. “I wake up and say, ‘Good morning. I’m sorry.”‘
Feder is willing to apologize to other people’s wives, too. When a customer completely forgot his 25th wedding anniversary, it was Feder to the rescue.
“I sent a gift overnight with an apology from me saying that he was in weeks ago,” Feder said. “It said: ‘Happy anniversary. This should have been sent to you days ago. It was my fault.’ … He was off the hook. And she was unhappy with me for the mistake, but otherwise happy.”
Terry Gold, founder and chief executive of Boulder- based Gold Systems, searched his computer for old letters and e-mails when I called him Monday.
“There were more than 500 instances where the words ‘I’m sorry’ showed up on my machine,” he said. “There’s probably a curve, where if you are apologizing too much, there’s a problem. … But I apologize all the time.”
The software business is about finding and fixing errors. Gold makes voice-recognition software that runs on any number of idiosyncratic computer and phone systems at once. If there’s a glitch, Gold’s first instinct is to apologize, even if it may not be his software that’s causing the problem.
“For those times when it really is your fault, you are glad you didn’t start pointing the finger,” he said.
High-profile sorrys
We live in a media culture where apologies make headlines regularly.
Michael Vick is apologizing for dogfighting. Lindsay Lohan is apologizing for being a drug-addled brat.
Does Mel Gibson hate Jews or was he too drunk? At least he said he was sorry.
Mattel Corp. reportedly is earning high marks from crisis-communications professionals for its handling of the lead-painted-toy recall. Mattel has apologized in full-page newspaper ads, a news conference and even an online video.
Then there is Bob Murray, co-owner of the collapsed Utah mine that took the lives of six miners and three rescuers.
Murray has at least taken the spotlight since Aug. 6, answering questions on national TV. But instead of apologizing, he has lashed out at his critics and blamed the tragedy on an earthquake and an “evil mountain.” Geologists, on the other hand, say Murray’s mine collapse is what caused the earthquake.
It’s as if we’re supposed to feel sorry for him.
“I’ve been living on this mountain every day,” Murray told The Associated Press, “living in a little trailer.”
“People expect companies to take responsibility for their actions and own up to their shortcomings,” said Denver PR maven Sharon Linhart. “They get really mad when they don’t feel a company has stepped up.”
A simple apology defuses public ire.
“People generally are pretty forgiving,” Linhart said.
There’s a simple reason why people who don’t apologize don’t prosper.
“As a boss, if I have an employee who won’t admit when they are wrong, I think they are full of it,” said Mike Gellman, chief executive of SpireMedia , a Denver-based Internet software developer. “Admitting you’re wrong and apologizing is the best way to move on. If you can’t move on, you can’t get to a higher ground.”
Al Lewis’ column appears Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Respond to him at , 303-954-1967 or alewis@denverpost.com.
