Dear Amy: I have noticed a new trend, and I am thinking it might be Paris Hilton’s fault.
Twice while out shopping with my kids, I have seen patrons bring dogs into stores. When did this become allowed? It happen at a “superstore” and then at an office supply store. At one store I even saw the owner set the dog on the counter. A big reason this bothers me is my children are allergic to dogs.
I would really like to hear if you think I am overreacting, or if others feel the same as I do.
– Pet Problem, Chicago
Dear Pet: Two years ago, The Hollywood Dog Magazine (yes, there is such a periodical) named Paris Hilton the “Worst Dog Owner.” In addition to her many other offenses to our culture, I feel comfortable laying the current craze for miniature dogs at Paris Hilton’s stiletto-clad feet.
Many inexperienced dog owners who have jumped onto the “teacup dog” bandwagon don’t house train their dogs and carry them everywhere; they are denying these dogs their very essence. These animals are not Beanie Babies – they are dogs.
I have also noticed that more of these miniature dogs seem to be showing up with their owners in stores and elsewhere, and though I love dogs and am not particularly bothered by their presence, I am certain that an Irish setter or Newfoundland wouldn’t be given the same privileges as “Tinkerbell.” Many people are allergic to pet dander, as you point out, and dogs do present other hazards to people (one of Paris’ ankle-biters allegedly bit a producer recently).
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Dear Amy: At our most recent family gathering, my brother was overly friendly with my wife. He had his hand on her hip and lower back and was very much in her physical space. Not wanting to cause a scene, my wife did her best to keep away from him.
She is very capable of taking care of herself, but he kept after her, inviting her to come up to visit without me (he is married) and making disparaging remarks about me to her.
Obviously we are both upset but are unsure about how to handle it.I don’t want to lose the family connection either.
– Astounded
Dear Astounded: Another reader sent in a suggestion for dealing with this sort of issue that I like enough to pass along.
Your brother made himself a nuisance in public, so perhaps the best way to deal with it would have been publicly, while it was happening.
Your wife could have said, “Hey, Bob, back up a little bit. I need some room here.” When he propositioned her, she might have replied, “You want me to visit? Let me ask my husband. Hey, honey, Bob wants to have a candlelit dinner. Can we go?”
These things gain traction if they’re kept secret; if you react with embarrassment or shame, the perpetrator wins. You should be calm but assertive with your brother: “I understand that you came on to Wendy the other night; this is really unacceptable.”
Of course he’ll deny it. Then you can say, “All the same, I’d like your assurance that it won’t happen again.” Your brother – not you – should be the one worrying about losing the family connection.
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