Patna, India – The beatings stopped only after she fled the house.
For four years after she married a shopkeeper, Rubi Devi’s in-laws constantly bullied her for not bringing a bigger dowry, then tortured her when she failed to pony up more gold, more cash, more goods.
“My mother-in-law and sister-in-law would beat me up. They would grab me by the hair and drag me around. They used to hit me with whatever they could lay their hands on” while her father-in-law pinned back her arms, Devi said, her hands trembling and her cheeks hot with tears.
In January, she decided she could endure no more and bolted for her parents’ home in eastern India, another victim of dowry harassment and violence in this country.
Yet Devi, 27, is one of the lucky ones: Her name was not added to the list of thousands of wives who are beaten to death, burned alive, electrocuted, poisoned, pushed out windows or otherwise killed horrifically every year because their husbands’ families are dissatisfied with the dowries they bring to the marriage and continue to demand more.
In 2005, the most recent year for which figures are available, a woman was killed over dowry every 77 minutes in India, according to the National Crime Records Bureau. The total of such homicides was 6,787, but experts suspect that the true figure is much higher, because many dowry killings are not reported. Even when they are, most killers go unpunished.
The practice of dowry in India goes back thousands of years. Its original intent, scholars say, was to protect women, who, by bringing property and belongings to the marriage, could enjoy some creature comforts and not have to depend entirely on their husbands.
But somewhere along the line, what was supposed to be security for the bride came to be seen as a bounty for the groom and his family, a way for them to augment their wealth.
Some observers say India’s economic boom since the mid- 1990s, which has seen incomes grow and living standards rise for many people, has exacerbated the tide of dowry-related violence, as a new acquisitiveness permeates society.
Demanding dowry has been illegal in India since 1961, but the prohibition rarely has been enforced. The problem cuts across all social and class lines.
“The trend is set by the rich and famous,” said Ranjana Kumari, director of the Center for Social Research, a New Delhi- based think tank devoted to women’s issues. “They’re the ones who start with, ‘Nothing less than a Mercedes or an apartment or (money) in the bank,’ and it percolates down.”
What used to be simple dowries of livestock and everyday household furnishings have given way to packages of cash, jewelry and big-ticket items, often just to help the groom and his relatives keep up with the neighbors. In many cases, the bride is hounded for more well past the wedding day.
Many victimized wives see no alternative but to stay in their husbands’ households, the only option they believe is available to them in a society that stigmatizes divorce.
“The culture is such that whenever a girl gets married to a man, however bad he may be, her inclination is to stay with him till the end,” said Neelu, a women’s rights advocate in Patna, the capital of Bihar state, who goes by only one name.
