Dear Amy: I work for a small family-owned business. My employers pay my rent and electricity, and give me a salary. (I live in an apartment attached to the office.) I realize that they have been extremely generous to me, and have gone over and above in their efforts to help me.
Recently I made a big mistake concerning two of their subcontractors. I overpaid these subcontractors by about $8,000. I realize that this was a bad mistake. The subcontractors brought the mistake to my employer’s attention. One was overpaid by $6,000. They returned the check.
I have tried to correct this mistake and have apologized. I’m double-checking payments now.
My employers are very angry with me; they are not speaking to me except to inform me of any other mistakes I have made.
I have been working for them since February, and this is the biggest mistake I have made. Now my employers are interviewing people to replace me.
I am worrying myself sick over this. I just want this to be over. My daughter lives with me, and we are already moving our stuff to a storage shed. What more can I do? – Worried
Dear Worried: Your employers have been patient and generous. Now it’s time to show them that they didn’t make a mistake when they hired you.
One mark of a professional is to demonstrate the courage not only to admit a mistake but to take the steps required to make things right. You should ask your employers for a meeting. Review what you did, what went wrong and what steps you are taking to make sure that it will never happen again.
Perhaps there is a bookkeeping class at your local community college where you can brush up on your skills. Ask your employers if they will keep you on, perhaps for a probationary period, until you can prove to them that you are competent.
Seize this as a learning experience, no matter what the outcome.
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Dear Amy: I was about 23 years old when I met the guy of my dreams.
Unfortunately, he was married. I saw him for about 10 years, off and on. I got married to another guy about 20 years ago. We have had our ups and downs, but we are still together. Our daughter is 18.
The love of my life lost his wife about a year ago. Within two months, we started seeing each other again. I still love him. I separated from my husband last year, but my husband begged me to come back, so I did. I still saw my old love.
This man says he loved me dearly in the old days, but I’m married now to a man who loves me to death. Now my old love says he doesn’t want to break up our marriage. I think he might have some other girlfriends.
I know that my husband is truly in love with me, but my heart is with another. What is your advice to me? – Heartbroken
Dear Heartbroken: When your affair partner became available for a full-time relationship, he lost interest in you. When you became available, he also lost interest in you.
I don’t think that you should stay with your husband, unless you are prepared to have an honest and committed relationship with him. If you leave the marriage, however, be prepared to be alone. Unfortunately, I suspect that you will discover that the love of your life has an expiration date.
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