“Nunsense” creator Dan Goggins must be kicking himself for not thinking of this first:
Five nuns form a religious boy-band trying to “save” the world, one hip-hop heartbeat at a time. If one gets accidentally plastered on communal wine, we’re talking “Nunsense Sequel No. 46” for sure.
No nuns here. Just a quintet of dreamy altar boys turned “Altar Boyz” who are performing the final concert of their worldwide tour (and in Fort Collins!). But it feels a lot like “Nunsense,” “Forever Plaid” and “The Taffetas” – for a younger audience. It’s sweet and toothless fun.
“Altar Boyz” is the most highly sought new musical out of New York right now. And the Carousel Dinner Theatre, which has practically made being first to score shows like this its mission, can be proud of Scott Wright’s high-decibel, high-energy debut staging. It’s notable for its earnest, all-out performances, its terrific heart and cheeky aerobic dance moves from Wright, one of our most innovative choreographers.
But the musical itself? It could be much more than it is. And what is it, anyway? A spoof, a satire, a parody? It pokes plenty of fun at boy bands and product placement and awful Christian music, but every time it threatens to launch a substantive riff on Catholicism or its position on issues like unwed motherhood, evolution or homosexuality, it turns the other cheek.
As a parody, it’s as sharp as a communion wafer. As a satire, it’s as consequential as an episode of “The Partridge Family.” It’s amiable, but it’s also aimless.
On paper, our premise sounds as golden as the rule. Meet Matthew, Mark, Luke and Juan: Four holy boys who are ‘N Sync with God. Make that five. Token Jew Abraham writes saccharine songs like “Church Rulez” and “The Calling” (“Jesus Called Me on his Cell Phone”).
We get sendups of Ricky Martin and “Avenue Q.” They’re all gimmicks, some even cleverly so. Think “Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goal Posts of Life” – set to percussive beat-box beats.
Our pinup ringleader is Matthew (Colin Harrington, a likable actor with a fantastic singing voice). The musical and comic highlight of the evening is his arrogantly comic ballad “Abstinence,” in which he sings to a poor pretty thing in the audience, “There’s something about you girl … that makes me want to wait.”
Harrington gets generous support from all his bling boys, notably break-dancing Broc Timmerman (Luke) and Keith Rabin Jr. (Juan). But the most notable performance – and troubling characterization – is a terrific Cole Emarine as Mark, an effeminate dreamer with an uncontainable crush on Matthew.
Much of the musical leads up to Mark’s song “Epiphany,” during which he “comes out” to Matthew. Not as gay … as Catholic. It’s a confusing revelation that’s far more dubious than the character’s sexuality. There’s no acknowledgment of the obvious contradiction here – that the church would never have Mark for who he really is. It’s one of many winks the musical makes at the audience – without doing any of the actual dirty work for them. Fact is, if these Boyz actually existed, they’d have to belong to a far more progressive faith than the Catholic Church.
Much of Wright’s otherwise enjoyable staging is smartly executed – though discerning the lyrics during louder songs is pretty much a hopeless task. One great faux pas, however, is the positioning of an all-important “tote board” above the proscenium – smack behind a fat light fixture.
We’re told in “Forever Plaid”-like fashion that tonight’s concert just can’t end until this “Soul Sensor,” which measures the number of endangered souls in the house, counts down to zero. This number makes its inevitable descent throughout the night, which I take on faith because I never got one look at it.
(I am here to testify that the number never reaches zero as long as I’m in the house, but according to a kind gentleman in the audience who read the number aloud for the benefit of all of us who were obstructed, apparently it did.)
The Carousel always brings a welcome, younger vibe to our dinner-theater landscape. “Altar Boyz” is a fun show but it’s also kind of a cop-out. It certainly would be a lot better piece of theater if it were also a lot more cynical.
Instead, in the end, “Boyz” embraces its own banality. Just like the pop-culture landscape it mocks. Peace out, yo.
John Moore: 303-954-1056 or jmoore@denverpost.com
“Altar Boyz” Carousel Dinner Theatre, 3509 S. Mason St., Fort Collins. Written by Gary Adler, Michael Patrick Walker and Kevin Del Aquila. 2 hours, 5 minutes. Through Nov. 24. 7:45 p.m. Thursdays-Saturdays, 1:45 p.m. Saturdays and Sundays (dinner 90 minutes before). $29-$38. 970-225-2555 or
3more
“For Better …” Eric Coble’s world-premiere romantic comedy takes a sweet look at how text messaging and cellphones have only made the search for true love that much harder. 8 p.m. Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 p.m. most Sundays through Dec. 15 by Curious Theater at the Acoma Center, 1080 Acoma St. $26-$32 (2-for-1 Thursdays); 303-623-0524 or curious
“Noises Off.” OpenStage Theatre & Co. presents Michael Frayn’s door-slamming backstage comedy, which many believe to be the best farce written in the past 25 years. 8 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays through Dec. 1, plus 2 p.m. Nov. 18 and 25, and 7:30 p.m. Nov. 29, at the Lincoln Center, 417 W. Magnolia St. in Fort Collins. $13-$20; 970-221-6730 or
“Trunks.” Buntport Theater’s award-winning, live comic-book serial for kids is back for a third season of superheroes fighting crime in the city of Dendiggityopolis.
1 and 3 p.m. Saturday, with new episiodes every other week through April 19 at 717 Lipan St. $4-$6 ($1 off if you dress as a superhero); 720-946-1388 or
– John Moore
Weekly Podcasts
Audio: Running Lines with … Alicia Dunfee. John Moore talks with one of the stars of Boulder’s Dinner Theatre’s “The 1940s Radio Hour,” which runs through Jan. 26 at 5501 Arapahoe Ave. (720-898-7200). Listen at .
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Video: The Fight Guys. The fourth in our series of short interviews with the cast of Listen Productions’ “Macbeth” features Benaiah Anderson, Seth Maisel and Jeff Bull (720-290-1104). Watch at . Posting Saturday: Teen fiddler Jasper Ryckman, who plays Fleance.
