For 15 years, Felicia continued going back.
She never pressed charges, even when her husband threatened her life and sent her to the hospital, because Felicia told herself she deserved it.
She always went back to the shame and embarrassment because Felicia was convinced she was unworthy of anything better.
“I just kept slipping. I’m in denial even now because I still love him,” said Felicia, whose last name is being withheld for her safety. “He just made me feel so bad that I would tell myself I wasn’t worth it.”
Felicia’s story is common among battered women, said Anne Tapp, executive director of the Safehouse Progressive Alliance for Nonviolence in Boulder.
“Abuse rarely starts as physical violence,” Tapp said. “It’s emotional chipping away at someone’s sense of self-
worth until the physical abuse seems justified to the victim.”
Since opening its doors in 1979 as an emergency 24-hour hotline and shelter, Safehouse has expanded its services. It provides legal advocacy, education and outreach to area schools; transitional support such as affordable housing; and long-term counseling for women and their children.
“We want to be a resource for women before violence enters the situation,” Tapp said. “Some people think we are just a shelter, but overall, the community has become more attuned to subtleties of domestic violence.”
Felicia is one of the many women who have sought assistance from Safehouse. Her husband went to jail in 2005 for domestic violence, but the two had a chance meeting in Boulder over the summer after he was released. That meeting put her husband back in jail.
Felicia sought shelter at Safehouse, which can house up to 17 women and their families at once and provide assistance in obtaining a restraining order and divorce.
Safehouse took 11,000 calls to its hotline last year and housed 300 women and children. Unfortunately, Tapp said, the shelter is always at capacity and turns away as many women as it takes in.
Safehouse has applied for funding from this year’s Post-News Season to Share campaign and plans to expand its shelter next year to house 27 women like Felicia.
“I’ve been in and out of a lot of safehouses, but I never let the agency help me,” Felicia said. “It took a lot to come here, but I’m tired of this. I’m waking up. I’m not asleep anymore.”
Cassie Hewlings: 303-954-1638 or chewlings@denverpost.com
Safehouse Progressive Alliance for Nonviolence
Address: 835 North St., Boulder
In operation since: 1979
Number served last year: 11,000 calls to hotline, 300 women and children housed at shelter, 120 women in transitional program, 350 women provided with legal advocacy, 470 victims provided with counseling
Staff: 29 staff, 300 volunteers
Yearly budget: $1.6 million
Percentage of funds directly to services: 100 percent
