Dear Tom and Ray: Summing up my Saturday: Me (the boyfriend) to her (the girlfriend): “Your car’s not starting right; your battery may be going out.”
Her to me: “When you have time, can you maybe fix it, please?” (Translation: “Before you even think about doing anything fun this weekend …”) Clerk (at auto-parts store) to me: “Yep, your Autolite 84 battery’s almost shot.” – Me to clerk: “But I put it in new … just two years ago. Doesn’t the big “84” on the battery mean 84 months? … as in 84-month (seven-year) warranty’?” Clerk to me: “Sure, but car batteries never last more than two or three years; that’s why the manufacturer prorates them so heavily.” Me to clerk: “Oh, sure, I knew that. Just give me another one.” (Translation: I’m way too cool to admit I have no idea (A) what’s occurring here, and (B) if I’m getting taken.”)
So, my question is: Why do car-battery manufacturers promote batteries as being “84-month batteries” if they seldom last more than 24 to 36 months? And if car batteries aren’t going to last more than 24 to 36 months, what are boyfriends paying extra for 84-month batteries? – Gary
Ray: Well, the numbers on the batteries relate to their warranties, Gary. So an “84-month battery” is one that’s warranted for 84 months. If it fails before 84 months, it’ll be replaced.
Tom: There’s a “free replacement period,” when the battery is replaced for nothing during one to three years (depending on how good your particular battery’s warranty is). After that, they’ll prorate it, which means they’ll give you some money back, depending on how old the battery is when it dies and how much time is left on the warranty.
Ray: And while batteries do vary, in our experience batteries sold by reputable retailers generally last about as long as their warranties suggest they’ll last. So a seven-year (84-month) battery usually lasts about seven years. That’s because those longer-life batteries have more lead plates in them.
Tom: Now, there are reasons why even a reputable battery may fail sooner than anticipated. A faulty charging system could contribute to early battery failure. But more commonly, frequent short trips, especially with accessories turned on, don’t give the charging system enough time to keep the battery properly charged. That can kill a battery before its time.
Ray: So, you are doing the right thing, Gary, by buying your girlfriend the biggest, baddest battery that will fit in her car. Make sure it’s from a retailer you trust.
Dear Tom and Ray: A male friend of mine insists that liquid dripping from a tailpipe is always gasoline. He says that it means the engine isn’t burning fuel well and so it is coming out of the exhaust system. I always thought that was a sign of a cold exhaust system and that the water (a byproduct of a combustion engine) that normally comes out as water vapor is just condensing on the cold exhaust pipe and running out as liquid water. I’ve never heard of gasoline coming out of a tailpipe before. Who is right? – Kimberly
Ray: You’re exactly right, Kimberly.
Tom: You’re more likely to see water dripping out of the tailpipe just after a car starts in the morning, or during the winter. Those are times when the tailpipe is cold, and the vapor condenses.
Listen to the Car Guys on 1340 AM and 1490 AM at 10 a.m. Saturdays and noon Sundays. Write to them in care of The Denver Post, 101 W. Colfax Ave., Suite 600, Denver, CO 80202.
