Dear Amy: This past summer I was sitting behind a woman in church when I noticed that she had a suspicious-looking mole on the back of her neck.
The mole had telltale signs of early skin cancer. Skin cancer runs in my family, so I have educated myself in terms of identifying moles that look irregular.
Knowing that the mole was on a part of the body she wouldn’t normally see, I decided to go ahead and tell her my observation at the end of service.
Amy, she was very offended. I tried to explain that I was only looking out for her well-being. Thankfully, she was just a visitor, so I haven’t seen her since.
Was I wrong in saying something? — MYOB or Not
Dear Myob: I agree with your choice — because this mole was located in an area that the woman wouldn’t normally be able to see. (I would feel differently about a mole that was readily apparent to her with a glance in the mirror.) Your intentions were good, and if she chose to follow up with her doctor, you might have made a long-term difference in her life.
Dear Amy : I can sympathize with “Confused Husband,” who wrote that he loves his wife dearly but found it difficult to be intimate with her because she weighs more than 200 pounds.
I am in a very similar situation, except that over our 25-year marriage, my wife has also developed diabetes and has heart problems.
One trip up the stairs leaves her out of breath.
She does not smoke or drink, but she does almost no exercise, only casually watches what she eats, and is becoming less and less mobile as time goes on.
I have tried various strategies to convince her to lose weight; to no avail. Call it denial, rationalizations, or whatever; she just will not change.
Please stress to your readers that healthy eating and regular exercise will have a positive effect and will allow one to grow old more gracefully. You owe it to your spouse and your children. — Sad Husband
Dear Sad: I’m so sorry that your wife isn’t more attuned to her health. Perhaps you could try to interest her by thinking of this as not a weight-loss challenge but an anti-aging challenge.
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