Since it’s the holiday season, I decided to try to make my peace on Earth with smooth jazz. After all, this overtly commercial, predigested music outsells the masters of creative music many times over. A million Dave Koz fans can’t be wrong, can they?
So I’ve been spending time with holiday-themed “smooth” recordings lately. I haven’t much cared for what I’ve heard. But after listening long enough, I kind of understand why so many people like this stuff. As a general rule, it’s relaxing and demands little of the listener. I took the sonic plunge, face first in to a snowbank of smoothness. Here’s what I came back with, frostbitten and gasping for air:
“Peter White Christmas” Artizen Music Group
This is the convergence of three big names: guitarist Peter White, trumpeter Rick Braun and saxophonist Mindi Abair. They play slickly produced versions of chestnuts that are mercilessly tortured over an open fire. As instrumentalists, all three are proficient in an ’80s “Saturday Night Live” band kind of way. But what’s remarkable about the members of this trio is how indistinctive they are as soloists.
Actually, they kind of stand out in their collective ability to sound as generic as possible, like that’s what they’re striving for. But what really does this one in is the absolute funklessness of the vocal contributions of the three principals. And beware the noxious medley “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town/Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy.” Meanwhile, Braun actually transforms John Lennon’s “Happy Christmas” into the theme from “The Waltons.” which is a perverse avant-garde achievement of sorts, I guess.
“Memories of a Winter’s Night,” Dave Koz Capitol
I’m so clueless about the smooth jazz genre that I wouldn’t be able to distinguish between Dave Koz and Kenny G in a soprano sax battle to the death. Koz seems to use a touchless echo in the studio and can perhaps improvise a bit more, but he doesn’t swing so well, at least not on the evidence presented here.
He decorates the melodies of well-known holiday fare with a good-natured greeting- card sentiment, and the above-mentioned Braun and White show up to make nice with “The Little Drummer Boy,” my personal most- loathed holiday song because of its repetitive, dull melody. I dare say their upbeat version surpasses most. There is a guest appearance by an “American Idol” finalist here as well. That’s the show that propelled Billie Holiday to superstardom. But you’re probably too young to remember that.
“Christmas Present,” Boney James Concord
The most identifiable characteristic of Boney James as an artist is that he wears a funny hat, more like Chuck Mangione‘s than Lester Young’s. He favors the tenor and seems to have overheard more earthy, bluesy players at some point.
His tenor solos are definitely preferable to the soprano musings, which also owe a debt to Kenny G. And hey, what’s Braun doing here again? Dude, don’t you have your own version of the same 10 songs to pump out to the market this month? Rick Braun is to contemporary smooth jazz what Steve Guttenberg was to ’80s cinema: Cut him a check and he’s there.
“The Swing of Christmas,” Barry Manilow Hallmark
Barry Manilow is well-meaning in his approach to the Great Holiday Songbook, but he tries way too hard to impress you with his showbiz pizzazz. The opening “Silver Bells” is a multitracked (all Barry) a capella attack on the senses.
There’s nowhere to hide from the wrath of these hellish bells. Elsewhere he sings with a great deal of heart and no subtlety whatsoever. “Swing” made me appreciate the new reissues of Tony Bennett‘s 1968 “Snowfall” (RPM Records) and the 50th-anniversary edition of “A Jolly Christmas With Frank Sinatra” (Capitol). In Mani- low’s defense, how do you follow those guys?
Set list
On Friday and Saturday, it’s the “Yule Be Swingin’ ” Big Band at Lannie’s Clocktower Cabaret Also on Friday and Saturday, vocalist Allan Harris provides Christmas music at Dazzle The Greg Harris Vibe Quintet plays Alto on Saturday The Motet and the Pnuma Trio share the Fox Theatre stage Dec. 28 Grammy-winning trumpeter Brian Lynch will perform two sets at Dazzle on Dec. 29.
Bret Saunders’ column on jazz appears every other Sunday in A&E. Saunders is host of the “KBCO Morning Show,” 5:30-10 a.m. weekdays at 97.3-FM. His e-mail address is bret_ saunders@hotmail.com.
