Dear Abby: I have been dating a great guy, “Curtis,” for about a year, and I’m happy with everything about our relationship except for one thing.
Curtis lives out of town. I live in the same town as his parents. He stays with me many weekends, and when he visits his parents and they ask where he is staying, he lies to them.
I understand that his folks are religious and that they wouldn’t approve of his staying over, but Curtis is 25 years old. At this point, shouldn’t he be able to choose what he wants to do?
I was raised to tell the truth, even if it means disappointing someone. His mom and dad have met me. They know this is an enduring relationship. I want him to feel comfortable telling them where he’s staying on weekends.
I feel like his guilty secret. — Canadian Reader
Dear Canadian Reader: I don’t think this is anything to obsess about. His folks may be religious, but they’re probably not naive.
You are not Curtis’ guilty secret. The fact that he is sexually active is Curtis’ guilty secret, and I don’t think you should push him to reveal it until he feels ready.
Dear Abby: I have many out-of-town relatives who come in for the holidays every year. As our families have all grown, the group has gotten larger. I consider this to be a blessing, except for the fact that it makes hosting the holiday meals every year overwhelming. Over time it seems my sisters do less and less to help me prepare and serve the meal and clean up afterward. And my brothers and brothers-in-law hardly help at all.
Can you please remind your readers to show some appreciation to family members who host them year after year? — Pooped
Dear Pooped: Before the out-of-towners arrive this year, begin communicating your feelings and enlist their help in shouldering the workload. The alternative will be ordering takeout and using paper plates, and I don’t think that’s what anybody has in mind.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
