Article VI of the U.S. Constitution, providing that “no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States,” has been in effect since 1789. But the news apparently hasn’t reached the Republican presidential candidates as they hustle for votes in Iowa and New Hampshire.
Their efforts to appeal to “values voters” by proclaiming their faith and piety can be rather confusing, though, especially if one is not familiar with modern Republican interpretations of the New Testament.
For instance, there is the well-known statement in Matthew 19:24, “And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.”
There’s the obvious traditional interpretation that avarice might well keep one out of Heaven. But a good GOP spinmeister could point out that there’s no need for a rich guy to “enter into the kingdom of God” because as one of the blessed (as evidenced by his wealth), he must already be inside the kingdom, and thus has no need to enter it. Therefore, it doesn’t matter whether a lumbering dromedary will fit through a hole made for thread; that’s a distraction from the real point of the saying.
Or consider the account of Jesus healing the leper in Mark 1:40-43. The leper came forth, knelt and asked to be cured. “And Jesus, moved with compassion, put forth his hand, and touched him and saith unto him, ‘I will; be thou clean.’ And as soon as he had spoken, immediately the leprosy departed from him, and he was cleansed.”
Put event into context
With no mention there of any fee for this health care, a naive reader might conclude that the Bible advocates something like socialized medicine. But a Republican candidate could point out that one must put this event into context. The next two verses provide it.
Jesus tells the cleansed leper to “say nothing to any man” about the cure. But instead, “he went out, and began to publish it much, and to blaze abroad the matter, insomuch that Jesus could no more openly enter into the city, but was without in desert places; and they came to him from every quarter.”
In other words, if there’s free medical care, people will try to take advantage of it. The healers will be swarmed whenever they appear in public, and will have to flee; the result will be no medical care at all. So this is not an account of Christian charity, but instead a cautionary example of what goes wrong when there’s no HMO to determine who’s worth treating.
The message is not always so clear; sometimes you need to infer what must have happened. On their way to Bethlehem, the Magi made inquiries of King Herod, who got worried that a rival ruler had appeared. So he ordered “the slaughter of the innocents,” all baby boys, lest one of them take his crown. Jesus escaped because Joseph, warned in a dream, took the family to Egypt.
But why did they return to Judea a few years later? Was it really on account of another dream? We must realize that that Joseph, Mary and Jesus entered Egypt as illegal immigrants and that Joseph, as an illegal alien, was doubtless taking work away from a hard-working Egyptian carpenter.
The only right thing for Joseph to do was to return to his homeland after recognizing his error, and the Bible provides an important lesson here about immigration and the divine will.
Granted, a lot of people might see contradictions between worship and waterboarding, but they just haven’t bothered to understand that there are many ways to understand the scriptures. After all, there are many troubled souls who draw comfort and inspiration from the modern Republican interpretations.
Ed Quillen (ed@cozine.com) is a freelance writer, history buff, publisher of Colorado Central Magazine in Salida and frequent contributor to The Post.
