I’m standing inside my local Great Indoors store looking as if I just got zapped by a Taser gun.
I’m mildly aware of customers making a wide circle around the dumbstruck woman in the towel bar aisle. They don’t know that this is how I look when making even the simplest home design choice — in this case picking new towel bars. I’m staring blankly at a wall of them.
The pressure is on because at this moment, my wallpaper man, Tom, is hanging wallpaper in my master bath. Though I’ve had the paper six months, and have known for a week he was coming, I’d put this errand off until it had the urgency of a grade-school fire drill.
Once upon a time consumers had two towel bar choices: chrome or polished brass. Now we have to ferret through oil-rubbed bronze, pearl or polished nickel, satin chrome, weathered black iron and assorted combinations (nickel with brass, chrome with gold, etc.). Once you pick your finish, you face umpteen design styles: beaded, braided, twisted, round-edged, square-edged, filigreed. I steady myself on my shopping cart, and feel a tick form in my left eyelid.
Tom could reinstall the old bars, but if I wanted to change them later, the holes for the new hardware might not line up, and the walls would look as if I roomed with a woodpecker. Besides, I am acutely aware that two events are converging that are as rare as a total solar eclipse occurring in my backyard: One, the original towel bars and TP holders are off the walls, and, two, a willing man is in my bathroom with tools and know-how. Carpe diem!
As I peruse the overwhelming selection, the antique bronze finish turns my head. The new wallpaper has a metallic bronze background. Before I can talk myself out of it, I put two bronze towel bars, a TP holder and a robe hook in my cart. As I roll toward the checkout, a thought nags: All the other fixtures in that bathroom, the faucets and knobs, are brushed nickel. A small, knowing voice whispers, “Restraint.”
“Restraint?” I answer. “This is my chance for change! Surely I don’t have to stay married to brushed nickel?”
“Restraint,” the voice whispers louder.
“Restraint means skipping dessert, observing curfew, wearing a helmet, obeying copy editors, applying muted makeup and dressing in gray. Where’s the fun in that?”
“Restraint takes discipline,” the voice says.
“Mixing metals feels fun, like playing hooky, eating chocolate lava cake for breakfast, staying out all night, wearing red, driving fast in a convertible, splurging on the latest trendy fashion.”
“Too much novelty is a sign of a weak character coupled with bad taste and a lack of dependability,” the voice says.
“Like a marriage between Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock?”
“Sort of.”
I turn the cart around, put the antique bronze hardware back, and reach for an updated set in brushed nickel. It feels right and safe, like wearing a seat belt.
Syndicated columnist Marni Jameson is the author of “The House Always Wins” (Da Capo, $25). The Tattered Cover LoDo hosts Jameson for a signing at 7:30 p.m. April 3. Contact her through .
When less is more
To people who thrive on the thrill of novelty, using restraint in home design can feel stifling. For reinforcement, I ran all this by Gary Gibson, a top Los Angeles designer, whose tasteful interiors exude restraint. He had these rules for those of us who have trouble resisting temptation:
Too much of a good thing is just that. Decorating is like dressing. You have to edit yourself, says Gibson. You can have a beautiful necklace, stunning earrings, and a great bracelet, but together they look junky. Pick one great piece and put the rest back.
Go crazy in little spots. If you’re feeling adventuresome, express yourself on a small scale. Say you like a duck-head door handle. If you must have this handle, put it on the door to the library, but don’t put them everywhere. “One is cute,” says Gibson. “Twenty-five all over the house looks stupid.”
Accessorize, don’t excessorize. Use restraint when setting out accessories. Fewer well-selected accessories look smart; a bunch looks excessive.
Consider the point of view. I told Gibson that I’d recently helped my neighbor pick drapery panels for her living room, family room and dining room. She had a dozen contenders of ready-made panels in different fabrics. We quickly picked which ones would look best in each room. Then I reconsidered. Her open floor plan let you see into all three rooms at once. While each fabric made a nice statement in one room, together they made visual racket. We chose a fourth, plainer fabric that looked great in all three rooms. That was the right move, he confirmed.
Exercise color control. Varying shades of one neutral (beige, brown, taupe, sage) will always look classic and timeless. Such neutrals are a particularly good choice for permanent or large objects: flooring, sofas and walls. If you’re feeling bold, express yourself in an orange lampshade that’s easy to change.
Sometimes the best choice is right in front of you. Today’s home improvement consumers have so many choices, they often feel overwhelmed. The latest look is tempting, but you can’t go wrong matching what you have. When doing a room addition, for instance, matching existing door handles and moldings will make the addition flow.
