Before diving into the midseason premieres of primetime favorites this week, beginning with “Desperate Housewives” tonight on ABC, do one thing: Lower your expectations.
While it’s tempting to celebrate the return to television of series disrupted by the prolonged writers strike, many of the hours that will be restored to the schedule are not curtain-raising, “midseason premiere”-worthy. They’re just regular hours, originally intended to run on ordinary nights during the season. They happen to be turning up now as the interrupted Hollywood production machine cranks up again.
Some are so ordinary that the networks are not providing advance screeners to critics.
Still, they are new, and they are not reality shows. Welcome the first of five or six hours of scripted series until the season is over for good.
No spoilers here, but we are dying to know:
What was it about Katherine (Dana Delany) that caused her husband (former “Firefly” hunk Nathan Fillion) to leave her on “Desperate Housewives”? And how will Edie Britt (Nicolette Sheridan) be written out at the end of this season? With six fresh hours to go, the “Desperate Housewives” return at 8 tonight on ABC, locally KMGH-Channel 7.
Was that kiss on “Bones” just a mistake, a tease in the previous hour best left unfulfilled if the chemistry between Booth (David Boreanaz) and Bones (Emily Deschanel) is to keep crackling? Or will it build to something? Trust the writers on this one. “Bones” returns at 7 p.m. Monday on Fox, locally KDVR-Channel 31.
And is anybody suing? Art mirrors life for David Spade’s character on “Rules of Engagement,” returning to CBS at 8:30 p.m. Monday on Channel 4, with six episodes, when someone claims he has fathered her child.
Most shows won’t bother to reference real-world interruptions, but “Boston Legal” is, as always, a weird exception. “During the strike, I fell in love,” Jerry (Christian Clemenson) says on Tuesday’s “Boston Legal” (9 p.m., Channel 7). “What strike?” he’s asked. Also in this episode, Nantucket wants to build an atomic bomb, and John Laroquette’s on the case. “Boston Legal” has eight fresh episodes remaining this season.
When NBC’s “Law & Order: SVU” resumes at 9 p.m. Tuesday on Channel 9, Mariska Hargitay’s character, Olivia, goes undercover in a state prison as a junkie. When last we saw Olivia, she had been rejected as an adoptive parent. Always the cheery hour.
Kelsey Grammar and Patricia Heaton are reading the headlines at WURG once more and hiding their romantic past (and resulting daughter) on “Back to You.” The solid Fox sitcom that takes local TV news as its endlessly inane punch line has five fresh episodes beginning at 7:30 p.m. Wednesday on Channel 31. In other headlines, as they might say, James Marsters is back on “Smallville,” which returns Thursday on CW (7 p.m. on Channel 2).
Next week (at 9 p.m. April 20 on Channel 7), ABC’s addicting “Brothers and Sisters” rejoins the lineup with new producers but the same tensions in Kitty and Robert’s (Calista Flockhart and Rob Lowe) marriage and political campaign. Perhaps you’ve noticed this is a high-level soap opera made to drink with: The boozy Walkers, who handily own a vineyard, are forever popping corks and toasting one another, or drowning their sorrows and making fun of their habit. But they look so good doing it.
The CW returns “Gossip Girl” to action on April 21, with Michelle Trachtenberg of “Buffy” fame joining the cast. And “Reaper,” the quirky tale of a young man employed by the devil to return escaped souls from hell to their rightful place, unveils five hours starting April 22.
When it reassembles April 23, the “Law & Order” repertory company bids farewell to longtime member Jesse L. Martin as Detective Green. Thank goodness Jeremy Sisto is now part of the troupe.
What’s up with that adorable surgical nurse who caught McDreamy’s eye on “Grey’s Anatomy”? When the series picks up April 24, it’s six weeks after Derek started dating Rose. And Kate Walsh pops back into Seattle Grace as Addison, apparently seeking a safe haven from the horrible spinoff that was “Private Practice.”
Also returning April 24 is “Lost,” the most brilliantly suspenseful show in television, with the first of five hours. One way or another, the question of how Michael made it off the island has to be resolved, along with 108 other questions about the people, purpose and properties of that island. The producers reportedly want to add an hour to the season — but where and why?
“Ugly Betty,” with five episodes remaining this season, likewise returns April 24. In the first, Betty is hoping to celebrate a romantic 24th birthday with Henry — until plans go awry.
On April 25, “Moonlight” begins the first of four episodes with Mick (Alex O’Loughlin), after an interlude as a human, turning back into a vampire. No spoiler there. That is, after all, the premise of the show. Ratings will determine the show’s chances of renewal.
Muslim exchange student Raja is going to get a girlfriend in this spring’s handful of episodes of “Aliens in America,” which returns April 27, on the CW. That should infuriate Justin, his American host.
“House” resumes April 28 on Fox and builds, over just four episodes, to the two-part season ender that was supposed to follow the Super Bowl but was bumped by the strike.
“Shark” jumps to a new night, Tuesdays, starting April 29 on CBS. If it performs better in the ratings than it has, the James Woods legal drama may stick around for fall ’09.
They may not be true “midseason premieres.” But with Fox dominating watercooler talk and ratings lately on the strength of singing and dancing reality shows, it’s comforting to know fresh scripted comedies and dramas are about to take the stage.
Joanne Ostrow’s column appears Tuesday, Friday and Sunday: 303-954-1830 or jostrow @denverpost.com
