SAN DIEGO — There was a point, nearly five hours into the San Diego Marathon, that absurdity became Ron Burgundy.
Between innings, fans were featured on the JumboTron. By the 14th, there were only about 4,000 people left. So everyone was getting face time. Well, not exactly face. One teenage boy was ready for his 15 seconds of fame and mooned the in-house camera, his cheeky smile splattered above the scoreboard.
Come on. You’re better than that. Stay classy, San Diego.
In the end, the Rockies won 2-1 in 22 innings. This was like no other event I have covered. Forget the newspaper and word of mouth, the legend of the game spread word of mouse.
Can’t tell you how many e-mails I got from slap-happy fans during the game, reminding me that I was not alone. They understood my plight. It’s the first time I’ve had a self-help group get me through a deadline.
This was an I-was-there event. Trust me, I considered carving my name into the press box desk with the date as well. There were so many amusing, annoying and memorable moments that it’s worth a look back. Now if the Rockies play a 23-inning game this week, forget this column ever existed.
For starters, it wasn’t a great game. It was special for its duration, not its highlights. It lasted longer than a Pamela Anderson marriage. True story. A scout I know left in the 14th, drove north 150 miles to his California home and began watching again in the 19th inning.
The pitching was terrific. But by the 15th or 16th — they are all blurring together — it reminded me of a heavyweight boxing match when both pugilists’ arms are too tired to knock the other guy out.
“Guys were worn out,” outfielder Ryan Spilborghs said.
Truth is, San Diego probably would have won if third-base coach Glenn Hoffman hadn’t sent Paul McAnulty in search of a triple to lead off the 13th inning. McAnulty looked like he was running from the police, wide-eyed and scared. He was easily erased at third on a perfect relay throw from Brad Hawpe to Clint Barmes to Garrett Atkins.
When Willy Taveras reached on a two-out error in the 22nd inning, I was pining for Troy Tulowitzki to take a pitch to allow Taveras a chance to steal. Seriously, I was worried about missing my 6 a.m. flight. At that point, Padres catcher Josh Bard couldn’t throw out the garbage, let alone a runner. He had caught every inning. He was tired.
“I would have killed him if he didn’t give me at least one pitch to run,” Taveras said jokingly. “There’s no guarantee I would be safe. But I liked my chances.”
Taveras ran wild, reaching third on a throwing error. Tulo doubled him home.
Afterward, Tulowitzki offered a priceless reaction: “What are you still doing here?”
Where was here? Was this sarcasm or existentialism?
Of course, I talked with Yorvit Torrealba. He caught all 22 innings. This was particularly funny because he told Chris Iannetta that he deserved to start after his three-hit performance Wednesday night.
“I was letting him have it during the game,” Iannetta said.
Iannetta’s sly grin was just one of many permanent images. There was Tony Clark, who appeared to be aging in dog years during the game and had all the flexibility of C3PO when he finally singled in the bottom of the 21st. There was Matt Holliday walking through the clubhouse after getting treatment on his back, probably sore from carrying the offense the past two weeks. There was Atkins shaking his head at San Diego reliever Wil Ledezma’s performance. Ledezma threw five innings after throwing just four all season. He threw 80 pitches, and, “I am pretty sure every one but two of them were fastballs,” Atkins said.
After eyes-glazed-over interviews, and scrabbling together a story, I returned to the hotel. It was 3:04 a.m. when I told the gentleman at the front desk that I needed a 4 o’clock wakeup call.
He looked at me and said: “You mean the one coming up or the next one?”
Yeah, the first one. Thank goodness for Red Bull, breakfast of champions.
Footnotes.
Just call them KC and the Sunshine Men. Brian Bannister and Zach Greinke have been baseball’s best one-two combination this season. They are a combined 6-0. Both have ERAs under 1.00. Said pitching coach Bob McClure about his two blooming stars: “Brian’s key is preparation. He leaves nothing to chance. Zach has a good feel for pitching now. He now knows how he wants to use his pitches.” . . . Bard on first baseman Adrian Gonzalez: “He carries us for long stretches at a time without much protection in the lineup. We can’t get where we want to go if he doesn’t hit.” . . . Barry Bonds continues working out in hopes of landing a DH job later this summer. . . . That Miguel Tejada is two years older than previously listed is no surprise. That it took this long to figure out is the shock. . . . C.C. Sabathia is wearing it this season. His struggles remind me of Carlos Zambrano, who got distracted by contract talk. . . . Where’s the beef? Prince Fielder, Milwaukee’s most celebrated vegan, finally ended his 54 at-bat homerless drought. . . . San Francisco’s concern about Barry Zito is reaching panic stage, given his lack of velocity and the amount of money remaining on his record contract.
Eye on …
Brandon Webb, RHP, Diamondbacks
Background: In college at the University of Kentucky, Webb was an interesting prospect. Brad Hawpe, then fashioning his own legend at LSU, remembers the right-hander as the Wildcats’ ace. It was always a tough matchup, but back then Webb didn’t throw a sinker. After learning that pitch in the minor leagues, Webb won a Cy Young Award in 2006 and finished second to San Diego’s Jake Peavy last season.
What’s up: Webb is 4-0 for the first time in his career. Next time you’re warming up for the slow-pitch softball game, have your buddy throw a hubcap-sized rock at your bat in batting practice. That’s what it’s like trying to hit Webb’s sinker. What’s more, Webb is no longer a one-trick pony. He has a devastating curveball and devious changeup. Arizona general manager Josh Byrnes told me Webb’s outing against the Rockies last weekend might have been the best command he’s seen from the right-hander. Rockies manager Clint Hurdle said trying to hit Webb’s three pitches was like “chasing a chicken.”
What’s next: Webb has moved into a different level of dominance. He’s Chris Carpenter circa 2005. Why? He’s different. Look around the majors. Every pitcher, it seems, throws a sinker and turbo slider. Not Webb. By mixing in that curveball, he changes a hitter’s eye level as well as anyone.
Renck’s take: Webb is a laid-back country boy. But nothing about his pitching is mellow or acoustic. And that’s the key. He knows that he’s never stuck in a count. He throws any pitch on any count. I asked Webb, only half-joking, if the changeup was his best pitch. “Sometimes,” he said with a crooked grin. That’s just not right.
At issue
Fraternization goes too far
What: By major-league rule 3.09, “Players of opposing teams shall not fraternize at any time while in uniform.” It’s never enforced, but perhaps it should be, given the lovefest between players before games.
When: The closeness of today’s players was on display last week at Shea Stadium when former Mets coach Manny Acta returned with his Washington Nationals. Acta was a popular coach, but his arrival was greeted by some Mets front office and players as something just short of the Pope’s visit. It annoyed Mets manager Willie Randolph, who told Newsday, “How does that happen? How does that become normal?”
Background: Randolph was raised in the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry. Boston was the enemy. The idea that he’d be slapping five with a Red Sox player was ridiculous, if not dangerous (he risked being pummeled by one of his own teammates). The scene with the Nationals’ Acta irritated Randolph because Washington helped lodge a brick in New York’s throat as it was paging Dr. Heimlich down the stretch last season.
Renck’s take: A handshake and hello is cool. But the communal aspect has gotten out of hand. Last year, a Rockies coach spent nearly an hour in the Giants’ clubhouse before a game visiting Barry Bonds, leaving several San Francisco players furious.
Guys can be friends. Tip the cap from across the field during batting practice. And if you really want to chat, text message during batting practice like everyone else.
Ups and downs
THREE UP
1. Diamondbacks: Outfielder Justin Upton’s new nickname is “Man-Child.”
2. Cubs: It appears Kosuke Fukudome was sandbagging with his awful spring.
3. Red Sox: Manny Ramirez’s home run swing belongs in the Louvre.
THREE DOWN
1. Indians: Closer Joe Borowski is out indefinitely. Fans not sure that’s a bad thing.
2. Nationals: Chad Cordero is out as the closer with his fastball hitting between 76 to 82 mph.
3. Reds: Early season collapse could claim Josh Fogg as the first big-name roster victim.
