HIGHLANDS RANCH — Often our lives are defined by how well we’ve managed certain goals — a career, a friendship, a personal image. However, in life, we find that it’s our own insecurities that make us truly who we are.
David Roche, who delivered that message to a group of Girl Scouts on Saturday, said he had plenty to be insecure about, but his deformity has given him a purpose as an inspirational speaker.
“My face is a gift,” Roche said.
Sixty-four years ago, he was born with Venous Malformation, a rare condition that caused a benign tumor to tangle the blood vessels in his face and throat. As a result, Roche’s facial vessels were pushed close to the skin’s surface, causing his left cheek to swell.
At first sight, Roche’s face is shocking — it’s lumpy and lined with many blue veins. He also lacks a bottom lip and many of his bottom teeth.
At times, his speech is difficult to understand because radiation treatments retarded the development of his lower face.
Still, with all this, Roche spoke Saturday in front of close to 100 middle-school and high-school-age Girl Scouts at the Girl Scouts of Colorado’s first Statewide Forum in Highlands Ranch, “One State, No Borders, Serving Girls.”
“Please just stare at my face,” Roche said. “I know it’s impolite, but just do it.”
The attention in the room turned toward Roche as he began telling the girls what he has learned about appearance, acceptance and diversity from his deformation.
“I get up on the stage and people look at me and think, ‘Oh what happened to him,’ ” he said. “I know there are certain angles where I look grotesque, but through humor, I reveal myself as an incredibly attractive person.
“Initial reactions to my face tend to be negative, but as people get to know me, they tell me that my face changes to where they don’t notice it,” he said. “I want to teach kids to take a second look when they see others that are different because if they stick with it, they will see an internal flash of hope.”
In fact, Roche said we are all similar, regardless of physical appearance.
“I like to say my face is unique, but my experiences are universal,” Roche said. “This is because everyone has something they feel different about, whether it’s because of a wart or because they have red hair.”
It was discovering these similar experiences that prompted Roche to leave his job as a computer programmer in California and become an inspirational speaker. His career, which spans 10 years, includes two books, two documentary films and a string of national tours.
Twelve-year-old Girl Scout Molly Parish of Fort Collins learned from Roche that outward appearance has very little to do with one’s success in life.
“I was like, ‘Wait a second, he wrote a book,’ ” Parish said. “At first, his face made me a little uncomfortable, but you get used to it and realize he is really cool.”
Anna Haislip: 303-954-1638, or ahaislip@denverpost.com
