SAN FRANCISCO — The grimace provided the first hint of a Tuesday night gone terribly awry.
Shortstop Troy Tulowitzki strained his left quadriceps and was forced to leave in the first inning. As you retrace steps of what happened next, remind yourself that the Rockies are not Little Leaguers whose postgame spreads include Capri Suns and orange slices.
In a span of four hours Tuesday night during a 3-2 victory, the Rockies went from a National League championship team to an Abbott and Costello routine.
They knew Who was on first. But everybody else? Not so much.
What was on second? No, that was Garrett Atkins, the regular third baseman. Don’t Know who was on third? Try Chris Iannetta, the backup catcher.
Why insist on players making debuts at new positions? If necessity is the mother of invention, injury is the father of inspiration.
Tulowitzki, who hurt his leg throwing off-balance to first, then aggravated it two batters later while charging Aaron Rowand’s groundball, made the lineup only because Jeff Baker broke a blood vessel in his right middle finger during batting practice. Tulowitzki is listed as day to day. Baker couldn’t grip a bat or a ball, leaving manager Clint Hurdle to make sense of the Ragu splatter.
With infielder Omar Quintanilla still en route to join the team, Hurdle shifted second baseman Clint Barmes to short, Atkins to second and Iannetta to third. Atkins and Iannetta are the self-deprecating types, whose dry humor is well-received. With each passing play made, anxiousness was replaced by head-shaking smiles as they made a winner of Aaron Cook.
“I thought we had no chance at that point,” first baseman Todd Helton said.
Instead of black comedy, they turned the Giants into their punch line. Atkins was involved in seven successful defensive plays, including a run-saving grab on a lunging play to his left to end the sixth. Not bad for a guy who never played second in the minors — or at UCLA.
“That’s the most fun I have had in a game in a long, long time,” Atkins said. “I had nothing to lose.”
Iannetta looked awkward on an early popup. But he could be forgiven after his second-inning home run and nifty defense in the seventh.
In a sequence that may never be replayed again, Barmes caught Fred Lewis’ groundball and whipped a throw to Iannetta as Randy Winn foolishly raced toward the bag. Iannetta made the catch and the tag.
Already off to the 10th-worst start ever by a defending National League champion according to Elias Sports Bureau, the Rockies (11-16) strangely benefited from the levity.
The bad — eight losses in nine games — officially gave way to the weird, if not absurd in the seventh. Tim Lincecum, who was attempting to become the first Giants pitcher to start 5-0 since John Burkett in 1993, balked home Iannetta. Lincecum thought he had a timeout when catcher Bengie Molina raised his arms.
Who’s on first? It apparently doesn’t matter if Atkins is on second and Iannetta’s on third.
“I am going to remember this game for the rest of my life,” Iannetta said.
Troy E. Renck: 303-954-1301 or trenck@denverpost.com
