LAS VEGAS — I got home the other morning and realized I did preschool drop-off and pick-up with my pants unzipped.
I don’t think anyone noticed. Or maybe they were just being polite.
A day later I was reading a book to my 4-year-old and distinctly thought I saw the word “horse” and incorporated it into a sentence.
“No Mommy, it says ‘toad,’ ” my daughter corrected.
I have been a full-time mom now for a year. And I can’t help but think that I’ve gotten … dumber. Or at least I’m not as sharp as I used to be.
Don’t get me wrong. I can multitask like crazy.
I can drive, confirm a doctor’s appointment on my cell phone, hand back a sippy cup to my daughter and Cheerios to the other one, all without ever taking my eyes off the road. I can cook dinner, heat up mac ‘n cheese in the microwave, search for a toy that starts with the letter “G” for preschool sharing time and wipe a dirty face without missing a beat.
But when it comes to other parts of my life, or the life I used to know, I can be a bit out of it.
I read something, then can’t recall what I just read. Often, I can’t think of the word I’m trying to use, or I say something that doesn’t even have anything to do with the conversation. My husband is sometimes baffled.
This is hard for me. I used to be so on the ball, so dependable.
I used my brain for lots of things — reading newspapers for example.
Now, three newspapers are collecting dust in my driveway. I don’t dare tell my former journalist colleagues. Appalling behavior, I’m sure. Chances are, I’m going to throw those papers in the trash.
But ask me about my daughter’s outfit for Western Day — not only did we have it way before the event but I found myself searching for a prized pink cowgirl hat in stores I never knew existed.
So what does all this mean? Am I really losing brain cells here? Katherine Ellison is the author of a book that gives hope to brain-drain moms everywhere. She said I should give myself a break.
In fact, her book, “The Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes Us Smarter,” is all about how all this Mommy stuff is actually good for our brains.
“When you look at real smarts, like attention and learning and emotional intelligence, Moms get a crash course in all of this stuff,” Ellison said.
“If you really focus on how much you’re learning, you’re devoting a lot of your mental power to them. … The kids really challenge you in ways you aren’t challenged at work. You have 49 emergencies to solve in a minute.” So true.
Look at that as brain exercise, rather than brain drain, she said.
Ellison advises against a negative view of your intelligence because convincing yourself you are losing it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yes, but when am I going to feel smarter? When’s that coming? She suggests focusing on accomplishments — how much more efficient moms are and how we figure out ways to deal with new pressures.
“You’re doing more than you’ve ever done before,” she said.
“Turn your attention to how well you’re doing. Focus on what you’re doing right, how you’re mastering situations.” Let’s see. Here’s one of those situations coming up in a few days: I have to drop off my 4-year-old at preschool, get my 2-year-old to a baby sitter, drive across town to the dentist, plead with them to get me out by 11 a.m., rush back across town, pick up my 2-year-old and then volunteer for the hot dog lunch at the preschool “Fun Day.” Ellison did say that I could try to be more connected and feel smarter by getting enough sleep (yeah, right!), keeping up with reading and staying connected to adults.
OK. So I might pick up the paper out of the driveway tonight.
And yes, I do admit to being a great multi-tasker.
But I’m still waiting to feel smarter.
