Dear Amy: This presidential campaign has gotten so stupid that I have decided your column is by far the most interesting thing in the paper, and so I have become a devoted reader. But I digress.
My father retired about 20 years ago, and until now he has been happily doing volunteer work. He had a stroke last May. He walks about half as fast as he once did, and he seems to have trouble using the left side of his body. He was also diagnosed with diabetes.
He has moved from his apartment into a retirement home. He doesn’t complain, but during my visit he didn’t seem to enjoy himself. He still has an active mind — many of the other residents suffer from Alzheimer’s disease or have been seriously impaired by strokes.
I live overseas and would move back right away, but I am seriously worried that if I move back I will have a hard time finding work. My dad says I shouldn’t move. — Conflicted Son
Dear Conflicted: I agree that the dumber the political season gets, the more fascinating the real problems of real people seem.
I bet there is a way to improve your dad’s quality of life. You should plan an extended visit so you can observe his situation over the course of a couple of weeks.
You should work with the director of the home to see what they can realistically do for him. Your father’s health might improve if he has regular social and physical therapy.
Visit all of the assisted-living facilities in your father’s area to see if there might be a better place for him. Also, contact his former volunteer coordinator and see if your father can continue his work there in some capacity.
Dear Amy: My son, a high school junior, was invited to the senior prom by a senior girl. They are casual friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend.
Prom tickets are $75 each. My son will be paying for his tux, flowers and a share of the limo. As it is her prom and she invited him, shouldn’t she pay for his ticket? —Perplexed Near Pittsburgh
Dear Perplexed: The person issuing the invitation — whether female or male — should pay for both tickets.
Sometimes, if they are going as friends, the offer to pay for both tickets is met with, “Oh, no — let’s at least each pay our own way.” This spreads the cost and keeps things casual.
Dear Amy: I am responding to the letter from “Livid in Colorado,” who was upset because her rich brother helped pay for his nieces’ and nephews’ educations, giving her nothing because she didn’t have children.
Speaking for a lot of us self-employed people who struggle with our finances, who the hell are you to tell someone to give up on her dreams just because they don’t come with financial rewards? I suppose the rest of us artists and entrepreneurs should give up and get jobs, too, because we have tough financial times.
—Self-Employed Jeanne
Dear Jeanne: Speaking as a formerly self-employed and struggling artist, I say with certainty that we are all responsible for our own financial choices and should not look to rich relatives to provide financial equity between family members.
“Livid” wanted to remain self-employed and to be rewarded financially. Unfortunately, sometimes we have to choose between the two.
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