Dear Amy: I have a really good job that I truly love going to. The company I work for allows employees to learn other jobs. I recently started learning a new position in the company, and I have developed a crush on the person who is training me.
I have fun with him, but there is a big age difference (about 12 years). I am not sure how far to take this, but I believe he likes me as well. I never have dated anyone I work with, and I am not sure if it is a good idea. — Wondering
Dear Wondering: Check your company’s policy about workplace relationships. For instance, if your crush is in a supervisory position or will become your supervisor after your training, entering into a romance with him could mean that you will be reassigned.
Workplace crushes and relationships can be terrific — if for no other reason than that they get you to enthusiastically rush into work. However, these relationships can have an impact on your career.
If the two of you are single and available, then by all means let your crush grow, but do so with the knowledge that there are inevitable consequences. If you two hit it off, then the age factor won’t be insurmountable.
Dear Amy: I have been dating a wonderful man for almost six years. He had been a widower for nine years, and I had been a widow for five years.
The problem has been his grown children. The oldest son (age 49) and his family had a very close relationship with his father, but now he is distant. He has told his father he cannot see him with anyone but his mother.
His relationship with his grown daughter and her kids has also been strained. They won’t even say hello to me.
Now I feel as if my feelings for him are waning. I guess I feel angry that he didn’t put his foot down and tell them he is entitled to a life. He kept telling me to give it time and that they would come around. What should I do? —Angie
Dear Angie: It’s long past time to bring down the velvet hammer.
Your guy should never have tolerated this from his adult children. He needs to tell his kids that you are in his life and that they must treat you with respect no matter what.
You don’t need to say, “It’s either me or your kids,” but you should tell him that things need to change because your relationship is at stake.
Dear Amy: I hope you’ll welcome one more letter about excluding stepparents from special occasions.
My daughter’s father has been married five times — once before me and three times after me. At her wedding, my daughter had one stepfather (my husband), one stepmother (her dad’s current wife), one ex-stepmother, one stepgrandmother, two stepaunts, two half-sisters, two stepsisters and two stepbrothers.
We all had a ball, and my ex-husband’s fourth wife and I even joked with his current wife that she was not a member of our “ex-wives club” … yet.
My daughter has never considered any of her relatives as anything but brothers, sisters, other mothers, aunts, uncles and grandparents, no matter who they are related to by blood. She was an incredible child and has turned into a remarkable woman. — Proud
Dear Proud: One thing that is quite evident from your daughter’s family structure is her father’s excellent taste in women. Way to go!
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