Dear Amy: For many, many years my husband suffered from moderate depression (functional but just slogging through much of life).
Now the problem is recognized and treated, but he still has many habits he developed when he was in a low-energy state. He may or may not be able to change.
I have recently come to realize how much I had gradually adjusted to his depressed state, accepting a sloppy lifestyle and letting things go.
He drops his clothes on the floor, and I step over them rather than pick them up. Our home is full of half-finished projects, needed repairs and overdue maintenance.
I look around and think, “What happened? This is not me; this is not the way I live.” It’s as if I’ve had a wake-up call but don’t know where to start. How can I get back to my original sense of a tidy lifestyle and stay there? — Somewhat Overwhelmed
Dear Overwhelmed: I’m a fan of the television show “Clean Sweep” (on The Learning Channel), on which a crew of professionals comes into a home and helps the overwhelmed owners sort through their mess, get rid of things, organize, clean and redecorate.
Often, when the crew does a follow-up a year later, you see that people are quite capable of forming new habits when they’re given a fresh start.
You drifted into your current habits. Now you need to create some new ones.
A helpful Internet source is . “Flylady” suggests starting very small — with the magic of a clean and polished sink.
Once you commit to keeping your sink clean and shiny, you inspire yourself to take other baby steps toward an orderly and clean home.
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