Republicans often complain about the U.S. Postal Service as yet another inefficient government bureaucracy, so it is somewhat surprising to see a GOP campaign point to the Postal Service as the deciding authority when it’s time to play the geography card in a statewide election.
Rep. Mark Udall is the Democratic candidate for the U.S. Senate seat now held by Wayne Allard, who is retiring. Bob Schaffer is the Republican candidate; his campaign is being managed by Dick Wadhams, who managed Allard’s two successful campaigns against Tom Strickland.
The Wadhams trick in 1996 and 2002 was to say “lawyer-lobbyist Tom Strickland” at least twice every paragraph, thereby defining the opposition in a way that helped Allard. Most of us, after all, aren’t real fond of lawyers and lobbyists.
This time around, the Wadhams pet phrase is “Boulder liberal Mark Udall.”
Udall lives in Boulder County near Eldorado Springs, and his press releases often list him as “D-Eldorado Springs.” There’s a minor problem with that, because nobody actually lives in Eldorado Springs. The settlement is not an incorporated town, so it has no formal boundaries. According to the Colorado Department of Local Affairs, the only relevant local government is the Eldorado Springs-Marshall Fire Protection District.
Eldorado Springs does have a post office, ZIP code 80025, but Udall’s ZIP code is 80303. That’s a Boulder ZIP code, so Wadhams charges that Udall is “lying and misrepresenting his residency.”
Maybe Wadhams can alert the authorities to this: I grew up in a house whose mailing address was 3025 11th Ave., Greeley, 80631. However, we were in the town of Evans — the municipal boundary then was our north property line, beyond which lay an unincorporated portion of Weld County, leading to the city of Greeley. By the Wadhams standard, my parents were committing fraud every time they voted in an Evans municipal election, since they had a Greeley mailing address.
Mailing addresses and places don’t always coincide. For instance, there’s the incorporated town of Bonanza in Saguache County. But it has not held a post office for years, and its residents get their mail on a rural route out of Villa Grove. So by the Wadhams rule, anyone who says he lives in Bonanza is a liar.
If you live in Chaffee County west of Salida, with some exceptions, you have a Salida mailing address even if you’re 20 miles from town.
One exception is Poncha Springs, which has a post office with boxes but no delivery. Thus if you live in the Maysville area, you’re closer to Poncha Springs but have a Salida mailing address. The Poncha Springs town government has attempted to open negotiations with the U.S. Postal Service to see if this can be changed, presumably so that Poncha will be better known.
The towns of Westcliffe and Silver Cliff in Custer County adjoin each other and share a post office and ZIP code — but they’re separate municipalities with their own mayors and boards of trustees. By the Wadhams postal standard of residency, their municipal elections offer all manner of opportunities for lying and misrepresentation.
Funny, though, he didn’t mention that when he spoke at the Custer County Lincoln Day dinner this year, when he said that for Republicans, “There’s a great deal to be optimistic about in 2008.”
Perhaps there is, as long as he can keep playing the geography card with “Boulder liberal,” based on ZIP codes that have everything to do with mail delivery and precious little to do with place of residence, and nothing at all to do with a candidate’s positions.
Ed Quillen (ed@cozine.com) is a freelance writer, history buff, publisher of Colorado Central Magazine in Salida and frequent contributor to The Post.
