What are the chances of getting a phone call from a political pollster?
Pretty slim, I’d say. Even national opinion surveys are based on as few as 3,000 or 4,000 responses and the sampling methods are highly controlled to ensure the best possible cross-section of the public.
I’ve had a telephone for more than two score and 10 years and I can recall only three or four calls from polling firms in all of that time.
Until the last two weeks, that is.
I’ve been called twice. Unfortunately, the people claiming to be representing legitimate polling firms were imposters. They were really just pols disguised at pollsters.
During my latest encounter, the bogus researcher spent quite a bit of time getting my personal demographics, everything from my age to shoe size.
The first real “question” went something like this:
“Do you think the Bush Administration has done a fair job, a bad job, a really bad job or an abysmal job?”
“I didn’t know Dubya was running again,” I replied.
Click. The phone went dead and the bogus opinion-seeker was off to find someone more easily duped.
I don’t know whom the guy was touting for public office, but I assume it was someone with the Democratic party’s blessing.
My first recent encounter with a “pollster” lasted much longer. The questions sounded legit as first, but became loaded or even rhetorical as we went along.
“What kind of question is that?” I asked.
“I don’t write ’em , I just read ’em,” the young lady replied.
Two questions later, I’d had enough.
The query was along the lines of:
“If the election were held today, would you likely vote for Joe Dokes, who would listen to the people and support free college tuition for orphans, or for John Doe, who has been accused of scandal and gets most of his money from big lobbyists?”
“Throw the rascals in,” I said. Then I hung up.
Why do we have to put up with this?
Since my number is listed on the federal “no-call” registry, which prohibits unsolicited sales calls, I checked with the FTC, FCC, FBI and FDA to see if my right to privacy had been invaded illegally.
I must report that it had not.
Political solicitations are exempted from the law, it seems.
Under the guise of free speech, people running for public office can have their minions phone you during dinner and, using false pretenses, lead you on for 15 minutes.
But “Boiler Room Bob,” the guy trying to peddle aluminum siding — who doesn’t try to mislead you about his intentions — doesn’t have equal First Amendment rights.
My advice: If someone calls to ask who you are going to vote for, first make them tell you who they are going to vote for. It will save a lot of time.
Dan Hilker (dhilker529@q.com) of Loveland is a retired suburban Denver newspaper editor and columnist.
