BEIJING — You know how a New York City cab ride should come with a harness and rosary beads? That’s like a lazy Sunday drive compared to a ride in a cab here in Beijing.
Every day, I’m in about five near-accidents. These cabdrivers have no regard for, you know, laws. They run lights like they’re colorblind. They drive in two lanes at a time. I’ll stare out the window, fingers and toes crossed, while my cab drifts over the line toward a city bus, which, astonishingly and thankfully, actually stays in its own lane.
I bet Chinese cabbies would actually make pretty good NASCAR drivers. Think about it. Americans scour the dusty tracks of Alabama and North Carolina for the next great race car driver, when, really, the next “Little E” is “Little Yi,” some dude maneuvering his way through busy Beijing.
If anything, driving a Beijing cab might be good practice for rusty NASCAR drivers (guys who are struggling, not guys actually named Rusty). They could come here, do a few tours of duty through downtown, and they’ll come back to the States ready to conquer Talladega.
Zai jain,
Benjamin Hochman
