Dear Amy: I am 25 years old, and my mother constantly buys me clothes.
She buys me clothes on eBay, and from catalogs and online stores.
She lives a state away from me, where she has no friends except her boyfriend, and she works out of her home, so I assume she does it because she’s bored and because she feels guilty about not being closer to her grandchildren and me. I’ve told her politely that she doesn’t need to buy me stuff, but she won’t listen. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I don’t want her to waste her money (she is not wealthy) on stuff I really don’t like or need.
It’s starting to make me uncomfortable. — Shopper’s Daughter
Dear Daughter: Your assessment of your mother’s motivations is probably correct. People who shop too much don’t do so because they need anything — shopping is a placeholder for other activities and emotions.
Ask your mother one more time not to send you clothing. Tell her if she sees something she thinks you’ll like, she should e-mail you a link to the item, and if you like it you’ll buy it yourself or put it on your Christmas “wish list.” The next time your mother sends you a package of clothing or has something shipped to you, you should send the item back to her with a note saying, “Mom, I really appreciate you and love you, but I can’t accept these clothes. I hope you can return them. Instead of shopping, I hope you can use your money and time to help me plan our next visit.” Dear Amy: I’m responding to the letter signed “Dog Drama,” about an abandoned dog in a foreclosed house. Your readers should know there are organizations that assist in such situations One of them is No Paws Left Behind Inc.
More information on that organization can be found at . I’d appreciate it if you’d help spread the word. — HillaryDear Hillary: Thank you for letting us know about No Paws Left Behind. One of the organization’s stated goals is to help people and their pets stay together, which should be a priority.
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