Dear Margo: I am a 19-year-old female living with my fiance of two years. I do love him, but we have one main problem: our sex life. He wants to have sex every day, even though I, for the most part, am no longer interested in sex … with him. We have tried things like role-playing and whatnot, but still it’s a no-go. We do have sex a few times a week, and I let him do his thing. Now, for the major problem: I have been spending time with an older gentleman, 31, who is my optometrist. He’s very kind, charming and cute. Lately he’s been making sexual comments and I find myself reciprocating. One day we were hanging out at his office and I got caught up in the moment and kissed him! He, of course, kissed me back and asked whether I was going to continue to come visit him. Although he is married and has two little girls, his wanting to see me again is rather exciting. I asked him if it was a bad thing that we kissed, and his response was that kissing isn’t that bad, though I’m not sure his wife would be too happy. I don’t know if he’s looking for more, but God knows I need some good sex. I know the right thing to do — he’s married. But if he’s making sexual advances and we’re both interested, should I follow through? — Horny and Confused
Dear Horn: Good grief, girl, get a grip. You’ve been engaged since you were 17 (way too young) and are no longer sexually interested in your fiance. This should tell you that the relationship needs to end. As for “hanging out” with your optometrist, doesn’t this man have clients? Apropos of his asking whether you’re coming back, how many eye tests and pairs of glasses can a girl get? I have no problem with your need for good sex, but abandon your home-wrecker career before it gets started and look for a suitable — and single — new boyfriend. — Margo, foresightedly
Talk About Wicked Sisters!
Dear Margo: I have been married to my husband for 12 years. He is supportive and loving, totally devoted to me, and the best father I could imagine for our children. My sisters, however, keep telling me I am wasting my time with him and that I could “do better.” Their main issue with my husband is that he isn’t “successful.” We’d both like to be more financially stable, but employment-wise he’s had a rough road, and for many years I was the breadwinner. He is currently earning all the money in the family, and we are finally doing better financially, but this isn’t good enough for my sisters. Neither of them is in a happy marriage, but they both have the luxury of plenty of money, even though they pace the halls of their large houses wondering where their husbands are sleeping at night. How can I get my sisters to see there’s more to a man than what’s in his wallet? — Cinderella
Dear Cin: Let’s see: You have two sisters, each married to rich men who unfortunately run around. You have a swell husband without a hefty bank account. The sisters are ragging on you — after 12 years! — that you could do better. I find this disparaging behavior totally out of line and not at all loving. I am wondering why they would wish their lives on you. If you want to get into it with them, you might say that while your financial security is less than theirs, you are devoted to this wonderful lover, friend and father for your children. You might add that different people have different ideas about what constitutes success. As my mother used to say, “That oughtta settle their hash.” — Margo, suspiciously
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
