Dear Abby: I have a huge problem. I am a 16-year-old girl, and last week I lied to my best friend’s parents so we could go to a movie.
Her parents found out and told my parents, who got very angry and have me grounded for a minimum of a month — depending on my “attitude.”
I never used to lie as often as I do now. In the first week of being grounded, I lied again and got caught. Now they don’t trust me at all, and I can’t even leave my school campus to go to lunch or answer phone calls or anything!
How do I get my mom and dad to trust me again when I’m grounded? If I’m not given any freedom, then how can I prove I’m responsible? I am at the end of my rope here. Please help. — Caught Lying in Colorado
Dear Caught Lying: Trust is built on confidence, and it is going to take some time for you to rebuild it. Put yourself in your parents’ shoes. Until you are an adult, they are responsible for your health, education and growth.
The first thing you need to do is admit to them that you have screwed up. Then start working to redeem yourself. Actions speak louder than words. It isn’t what you say, but what you DO that matters.
If you want to be treated like a mature adult, perform like one. Be responsible for your actions, and you will earn your parents’ confidence. Look at it this way — whom do YOU trust? Those who have shown by their actions that they can be trusted, of course. So start today to show them that they can trust you, and they will.
Dear Abby: When picking up another couple for a half- hour drive to a restaurant, should I continue to sit next to my husband (who is driving), or should I get in the back seat with the wife of the other couple, so we gals can chat and the guys can too? — Unsure
Dear Unsure: It depends upon how friendly you are with the wife and how much you have to chat about. If the conversation will be so intense that you begin to resemble Linda Blair in “The Exorcist,” sit in the back so you won’t throw your neck out.
Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
