PALISADE, Colo.—Mary Lincoln thinks there’s a killing to be made.
Which is why Palisade’s Slice O’ Life Bakery is turning out new cookies—handgun-shaped.
“We’re just trying to stay in touch with the trends,” Lincoln said with a smile on a recent Thursday, tongue firmly planted in her cheek.
You’ll find them on the bottom rack at the front counter at the Lincoln family’s West Third Street bakery: $2 sugar-cookie goodness shaped roughly in the form of a 9 millimeter.
“Join the Crowd,” a sign reads.
“All sales final.”
“No background checks.”
“No waiting period.”
“Circumvent those pesky taxes.”
Don’t expect new firearm models for hunting season, though.
“We don’t have any assault rifles, but I don’t know what one looks like either,” Lincoln said during a break from the afternoon’s baking.
Nobody’s completely off their rocker here—just having fun. Lincoln said she was “inspired” by national and local media reports earlier this month explaining a surge of firearm purchases following President-elect Barack Obama’s Nov. 4 victory.
“Just trying to stay on top of the retail game,” she said.
When asked if she was concerned how the faux gun sale might be received given her son Sam’s infamous meth-fueled crime spree of 2005, she doesn’t hesitate.
“We sell to felons, too,” Lincoln said smiling. “No ID checks either.
“It’s been very positively received.”
Nearly three years after Mary Lincoln stood before cameras pleading for her son Samuel Kingman Lincoln to surrender in the midst of a high-profile 18-day manhunt by Mesa County law enforcement, there’s laughter again at Slice O’ Life Bakery.
“Bad things that happen to you can end up for the good,” she said. “It’s all what you make of it.”
Twice named Peach King for Palisade’s Peach Festival, 27-year-old Sam Lincoln is now housed in the state’s Sterling Correctional Facility—convicted on five counts of attempted murder between two counties and sentenced to 332 years in prison.
Right around the time Sam’s brother Curt got married in June, the family made its first trek to Sterling to visit Lincoln. They’ll head back before the holidays.
“Sam writes beautiful letters,” Mary Lincoln said, adding her son has made particular efforts to reach out to old “friends” in an effort to drive home a message: “Meth’s a really bad idea.”
“He’s matured a great deal.”
“I’m eternally grateful to Mesa County law enforcement,” she says of her son’s capture—alive. “That wasn’t a given.”
“Ed, you’ve got to check out our guns,” Mary Lincoln yelled to a customer pondering the selection.
“Pretty intimidating,” he replied.
Slice O’ Life’s gun specials will be offered “while they last,” Lincoln said.
Lincoln said they used a waxed, shaped piece of cardboard to slice out cookie dough.
“I couldn’t find a gun cookie-cutter,” she said.
